Thursday, February 23, 2017


Wendy's had a promotion offering a free 'Frosty' every time you bought something else. All you had to do was pay two dollars for a Wendy's key tag. Of course Mark couldn't pass that one up. So far he's collected a free Frosty twice using that key tag and he still hasn't got his two dollars worth. That's because the free Frosty that they give you is barely larger than the key tag, it is tiny. But that's not what this story is about. This story is about how Wendy's cannot, will not, hasn't the ability, to ever get an order straight when you go through the drive in window. I cannot recall even one instance where what we have ordered and paid for, was in the bag when we got home. So what we do now is sit at that window while Mark rifles through the bag, checking to make sure that the order is one hundred percent right. Last night, after seeing a magic show downtown, we drove through the Wendy's over on Western Avenue.
"Is my hamburger in there?" I asked Mark as he dug through the sack of food.
"Umm... yes, your burger is here." Mark continued to dig. "It's all here, you can go."
So I put the car in gear and pulled away from the drive up window. Ten feet later Mark started sputtering.
"Awwkkk... they didn't give me my sweet and sour sauce! Goddamnit... "
So I stopped the car right in front of the Wendy's entrance and Mark jumped out with the bag of food. A couple of minutes later the car door opens and Mark gets back in.
"Gasp... wheeze... shot, almost.... wheeze... wheeze, gasp... guy threatened.... wheeze... shoot me.... "
"Gasp... I squeezed between car and window.... wheeze... guy said he was.... going to shoot.... "
"What, why did you go to the drive up window? Why didn't you go inside? That's why I stopped at the entrance."
"Closed, not open..... closed at ten... Just leave. Drive.... gasp.... wheeze...go home."
So I started driving.
"I didn't know that it was closed. I wouldn't have walked up to the drive in window like that. So somebody threatened to shoot you because you squeezed in there?"
Mark had recovered enough to relate more of the story.
"Yes, only the drive up is open. Can't you see the damn sign? Goddamn fill in blank threatened to shoot me and the fill in blank bitch inside the window treated me like shit. Thought it was my fault I didn't get my order right. We're never coming back to Wendy's.... ever. Not ever."
"Hmmm... Okay, but I would have called the police if I had known that."
We drove a few more blocks in silence. 
"You should have called the police. Anyway, did you get the sweet and sour sauce? Oh, and did you get your free chocolate Frosty?"
"I hate this place. I hate Chicago. I hate you for making me move here. "
I took that as a no.


  1. The first Wendy's I ever went to was in Mobile Alabama. The food was hot, fresh, good and the place was clean and friendly. The last time I went to a Wendy's the food was cold, wrong and half of what I ordered wasn't in the bag. Since Dave died, that place has gone in the crapper. But we need to pay the people that work there $15.00/hour to be wrong. I'd rather have a piece of toast at home. At least if it's wrong, it's my fault.
    I find it amazing that the first thing said to Mark is that's they were going to shoot him. Glad he wasn't one of the 7 shot last night in the city.

    1. I'm sorry. It isn't clear in my story who said the were going to shoot Mark. It was the guy in the car. Mark squeezed in between the car and the window. As for the 'fill in the blank', only Mark can say that word in public.

  2. It's fast food. What did you expect.