Three Things From the Last Week

Fork or Chopsticks?

I took Mark out to our favorite sushi restaurant last night. Okay, it wasn't actually night time, but what is called 'rush hour'. While traffic crept by on Peterson Avenue, Mark and I sat and drank wine while noshing on fish and various appetizers. I guess we are officially old now because we made sure we got there for the early bird special. One of the things we don't agree on, is how to eat Asian cuisine. I am fairly adept at using the chop sticks. Mark however, likes to use his fork. So there we were. Me all cool, picking up peas with the chop sticks, while Mark mushed around with an American fork. But it was all good. We enjoyed our food and toasted each other with a glass of wine. Although, Mark sucked his up through a straw.

Rat Trap

I've been trying and trying to capture the elusive kitchen mouse. On Friday I went to Lowes and bought all kinds of mouse poison. I like the green stuff. For some reason the rats... mice, will eat the green poison and die. I used to buy it in loose granules that I could put anywhere the rodents went. Now, I suppose because of kids eating the funny looking tic tacs, it only comes in little blocks. And those little blocks have to be put inside a little mouse house. The problem is, getting the little mouse house open to put the little green poison block inside. I pulled, and pried, and pushed on the thing, but couldn't get it open. So I read the instructions. "Push on the tab with your left hand, while pulling up with your right hand. When the tab releases touch your nose with your big toe and whistle a tune through your anus." Actually, I have no idea what it said because the writing and diagram is so tiny that I couldn't even see it with my magnifying glass. So I just threw a couple of chunks of the poison blocks behind the stove and hoped for the best.

The Handicapped Cart at Tony's

Mark has breathing problems and when we go to the grocery store he uses the electric shopping cart that is provided. At Tony's Market they keep the electric carts up on the second level parking lot. So if we find a parking spot on the ground level, I have to go up in the elevator and get Mark a cart. Which I did last Friday. I unplugged the cart from the wall, turned it on, and drove it over to the elevator. When I got to the first floor where Mark was waiting, I turned it over to him. He sat down and pulled back on the little lever. It didn't move. We checked the on/off switch and tried again. Wouldn't move. So I told Mark to get off and I sat back down on the damn thing. When I pulled back on the little lever it moved forward. Again Mark got on the cart and tried to make it work. It did not work. What we eventually figured out is that the seat has a sensor that can detect when some smart ass kid is screwing around with the electric cart. If the weight is not that of an adult, it does not work. Not taking into consideration that many handicapped people are not fat asses is a problem. Anyway, I grabbed a twenty pound sack of potatoes and threw them on the seat. Then I told Mark to sit on them. Sure enough, that was just the right weight to make the cart go. So if you go to Tony's Market, look for the pre-mashed potatoes. No extra charge.