Old Guy Tech

 

$100, a bargain at that price

For twenty five years my career was computers. I fixed them and I knew how to use them. I could sit down in front of a strange computer and figure things out with a minimum of fuss. It's been fifteen years since I retired from that line of work. So what the hell happened to me? I inherited Mark's iPhone and an iPad, and I can't figure them out. At least not yet. The way they work just isn't self-evident (not the word I was looking for, but for the life of me I can't remember the word I wanted). Anyway, I'm trying to de-clutter this house and I want to sell off some things. When I told my sisters Lisa and Carolyn I was doing that, I was told to "Use OfferUp or Facebook Marketplace. It's easy." So I downloaded the app for OfferUp and gave it a try. I don't think it is easy. I want to sell a day bed so I read up on what OfferUp thinks is the best way to do things. One thing they tell you is to meet your prospective buyer in a safe place. Then they list safe places they have, like police stations. What in the hell? I'm not schlepping a day bed to a police station or a shopping center parking lot, another location they gave. And then there is the collecting of money. That was not made clear to me. I simply want somebody to come to my house with a fist full of cash and take away the day bed. So I gave up on OfferUp. Instead I used Facebook Marketplace. On Saturday I posted two photos of the day bed, the amount I wanted, and waited for somebody to bite. This is what I got.

"Hola. ¿Sigue disponible?"

"Still available. Near Peterson and California."

"También incluye los colchones"

"Si, mattresses included."

"Cuál es tu dirección y mañana voy por ellos"

"5*** North Fairfield Avenue, Chicago"

"Ok manaña voy por ellos como a las 10am"

"Si, Mi español no es bueno. 10am okay"

"Ok thank"

Sunday at 9:58 AM

"Are you on your way here?"

One hour later I sent this text.

"I will have to put the bed as available again if you're not here by 11."

I finally got this answer.

"Okay ... I'm looking for a truck, my friend looked bad"

Suddenly the buyer can speak English. So I told her.

"The bed will have to be dismantled to get it out of the room. So you don't need that much room in a vehicle. Debe desmontar la cama. No problemo, es facil"

An hour later.

"Do you know what time you will be here?"

This is the answer I got.

"Contact left the group. "

She never did show up and I had at least four other people inquiring about the bed that I passed on while I waited for her. So the hell with the computer. I'm putting a sign out in the front yard with a picture of the bed. $100 cash and no bullshit. Or.... maybe I can get one of my tech savvy nieces or nephews to help me.