Monday, September 29, 2008

Happiness is a New Toy

Nothing is more exciting to a kid than a new toy, and although I'm not a kid anymore, a new toy can get me excited. The last toy I got that really excited me was TiVo. Before the invention of this wonder, I used to fumble with the VCR to record my favorite television shows. The problem with the VCR is that it had multiple variables that had to be met so that you could record, and the more desperately I wanted to record a show, the bigger the chance that I would mess it up. First and foremost was that flashing 12:00AM. If you hadn't set the time correctly after the last power outage, you were screwed. Instead of getting a football game, you'd get an infomercial that aired at three in the morning.

When I was a little boy, one of the best toys I ever received was a Lionel train set. Train sets were the video games of my youth. Instead of sitting in front of a game console for hours on end, I disappeared into the basement for hours playing emperor of Plasticville USA. I was the Mussolini of that place and the trains always ran on time.

As excited as I am when I get a new toy, nothing can compare with the sheer joy my dog Chandler gets when I present him with a new, stuffed, squeaky toy. If he wore pants, he'd be peeing in them. He is the first dog I have ever had that actually plays fetch, meaning he will release the toy when he brings it back to me. Last night he brought his new squeaky kitty cat toy back to me a few hundred times, and every time I threw it, he was as excited as if it were the first time.

When I finally got tired and put an end to the game of endless fetch, Chandler proceeded to walk around the house with the new squeaky kitty in his mouth. A constant squeak, squeak, squeak filled the room until I couldn't take it any more. While Chandler was sidetracked by a sudden offering of doggy treats, I made squeaky kitty go away. After all, poor kitty was soaked with dog spit and really needed a rest, and so did I.


  1. I hope Mark took a shower after being covered with all that dog spittle. Whew! I'll bet he was exhausted after all that tossing. Where did you finally hide Mark away from Chandler?

    You were talking about Chandler's squeaky toy aren't you? hehe

  2. I think you should cut down on the coffee that the new kitty is drinking.

  3. How long before kitty-toy is a shredded pile of fuzz.....????