Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Hot Air (no it's not about the conventions)

Click here to donate

I really hate this time of year here in Florida. Every day the temperature bubbles up into the nineties, with the humidity not far behind. When it is not raining, the blazing sun causes steam to rise from the soggy earth. Even at night, when you step outside, the stifling air sucks the oxygen from your lungs. This is the price we pay so that every January we can make that irritating call to our relatives up north, and tell them how beautiful our weather is, and how theirs sucks. It's a high price to pay for that one smug moment. Even so, every once in a while I will hear a Florida resident bragging to other Floridians about how much they love the summers here, and that the heat and humidity doesn't bother them. They are lying.

Usually, just at the point you tell yourself that you can't take the rain and heat and humidity anymore, it gets worse. By worse I mean the hurricane season ratchets up to non-stop. It seems that every day an innocent puff of clouds wafts off of the African coast, and slowly builds into a hellish storm as it crosses the Atlantic, taking aim on Florida like a ten pin in a bowling alley. It makes it very hard to plan anything past a few days, for it is guaranteed that if you do, 'Hurricane Derwood' or what ever the hell they have named the latest storm, will swoop in and screw it up.

I know the North has its snow storms and tornadoes, but at least a snow storm won't destroy your home and plunge you into the dark ages. You can just sit it out and wait for it to eventually melt. As for tornadoes, if you just move a few hundred yards to the left or right, it will miss you. When it comes to hurricanes, we will always feel for the folks on the gulf coast or those up around Cape Hatteras when they get clobbered. We will say we are praying for them, and that it really is awful, but deep down we are really saying, "hooray! it didn't come our way!".
"Heckuva Job"


  1. OK...I'll stay off the red wine-now you better start drinking because they say "Hannah" is coming your way.

  2. Not to mention, Ike and TD #10. Talk about a tropical depression. Pass the Stoli please.

  3. ...and what does the chocolate brownie have to do with this story?

  4. Think back Garet. New Orleans/Katrina. "Heckuva job, Brownie!". From the lips of George Bush who also thought "Mission Accomplished" was true!!

  5. Mmmm choccy cake will get you through Alan :)