Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Electric Ladyland

It's interesting that as each time technology advances a step, we become so dependent upon it that we can't imagine going back to what we had before. That occurred to me when I tried to fast forward through the commercials on a show I watching, only to realize that for once in a long time I was actually watching a television show in real time. I always TiVo my favorite shows, and then speed past the ads. The last time technology slapped me in the face was when I thought I could travel across the country without a cell phone. I ended up calling home via a pay phone at the Atlanta airport, only to receive a jaw dropping bill of $20 for that one minute call on my next AT&T bill.

It is now hurricane season here in South Florida, and that means we must prepare to be sent back to caveman like living at any time. In the blink of an eye you can lose electrical service, phone service, and worst of all, a toilet that flushes. They tell me that people have lived around here for millennia, but I can't imagine how they pulled it off without air-conditioning. Two hours into a loss of electrical service and I am a basket case, cursing God, Florida Power and Light, and anyone else who I believe may have denied me my comfort. As I write this I am thinking about my generator that has been in the repair shop for the last three months, and I am wondering if it will be back in time for the next big blow. If it doesn't get fixed soon, you may see me on CNN at the Home Depot with all the other crazy assholes when the next hurricane is bearing down on us. I'll be the one fighting with an old woman over the last the generator.


  1. We didn't even bother putting the generator in storage last year. It's still on the porch, like the proper redneck palace in which we live.

    It's a toss up whether I can survive longer without A/C or indoor plumbing.

    Spoiled little fuckers, aren't we?

  2. We are indeed spoiled bastards.

    Hostess, isn't the watchtower the first thing that will blow down?

    I lived in Gainesville for three years. I, too, cannot imagine doing that without air conditioning. It is *not* a dry heat.

    And, btw, don't put the generator in your basement and die of carbon monoxide poisoning like some Darwin Award nominees do here from time to time.

  3. My living room floor is six feet above sea level. We don't have basements. I always put the generator around back next to my annoying neighbors bedroom.

  4. Now tell the real reason you need the generator.