Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Oh, Crap!

Step one for picking up the crap your dog has left in your neighbor's yard, is to take the poopy bag and put it on your hand like a mitten. Step two, is to reach down and pick up each turd until you have cleaned it all up, or to at least fake it if it is dark enough. Step three is to pull the bag off your hand inside out, and tie it up in a pretty package. The final step is to find a neighbors garbage can that is close enough to the street so that you can run up and drop the bag of crap into it. The alternate to step four, is to fling the package into a handy group of bushes if no one is looking.

Yesterday, while I was in the middle of step two, the picking up of the poop, Chandler spotted his friend Kevin the Great Dane. In his joy at seeing an old buddy, Chandler bolted while I was bent over with a handful of poo. I can handle Chandler if I know another dog is nearby, but this time he nearly knocked me over, and before I knew it I was being dragged down the street with my arm flailing around, flinging dog poop everywhere. The more I attempted to bring the situation under control, the more Chandler pulled on the leash, causing more and more crap to fly. By the time we caught up with Kevin and his owner, the poop bag was hanging off my hand, and what hadn't hit the street was stuck to my arm. It was a disgusting mess, and from now on Chandler will be encouraged to poop in the church yard. Nobody ever cleans up after their dog over there.

7 comments:

  1. OMG, that is a funny image.

    Reminds me of the time my friend Rose accidentally shit-bombed the elderly. You should read it. I think you'd like it.

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  2. I just love a good poop story...especially when it doesn't involve my or my dog's poop.

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  3. Hahahahaaa! EWWW. I can't stop laughing and also, gagging just a little. Hilarious!

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  4. I would have paid money to watch this show, Alan. ROFL

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  5. Yet another adventure with Chandler! Made me laugh reading it but I hope you didn't get hurt. If Mark had been with you, would it have ended up on video Thursday? FUNNY (as long as you didn't get hurt)!!

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  6. Just read Syd's shit-bomed the elderly and I can't stop laughing! HILARIOUS!! Thanks Syd.

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  7. Okay, I think I've read enough dog-doody stories for one day!! But they did make me laugh. I kept thinking about how it would have been if Mark had been screeching along with you swearing.......... and I think Syd's friend Rose's situation could only have been worse if it had been a nuns senior residence!!

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