Wednesday, June 3, 2009

WTF

Who's The Faggot?

Here in South Florida, there are only two reasons anybody would be riding a bicycle. One reason is that you have had one too many DUI's and have no choice. The other reason is that you are homeless and poor, and couldn't afford a twenty year old Toyota Corolla. Either way, you don't have a lot going on for you in your life. That is why I was so flabbergasted yesterday, when a forty something year old, dirty, shirtless, toothless, bum on a bicycle, looked me in the eye as he rode by, and yelled out in his raspy bum voice, "FAGGOT!". He then proceeded to do the same to Mark, who was lagging some ways behind me. We were on our way into the Winn-Dixie Store, minding our own business, and this cretin suddenly felt that he needed to insult two total strangers. I guess that it somehow makes people like him feel a little better about their lot in life, if only for a few seconds.

This isn't the first time here in Fort Lauderdale that I have been the target of a drive by 'faggoting'. It has happened at least four times that I can remember, and every time it has totally taken me by surprise. I end up standing there, staring at the asshole as he drives/rides away, sputtering incomprehensible threats and making confused gestures in some attempt to answer back. That's the problem, I never know how to respond to such an attack. I'm not much good with the witty comeback, and even if I did have a good one, what would I do if the idiot turned around and came back? I've never been much good at fighting either. I guess the best thing to do is just forget it and go on with enjoying my life. After all, my life must be better than theirs, because I don't feel the urge to drive around looking for someone else to belittle.

12 comments:

  1. I got your back on this one Alan...

    I'll envision him picking up his one bloody tooth with three broken fingers and then we can skip down the lane to a bar and relive the whole pleasant experience.

    (Us lesbos got a reputation to keep up too ya know)

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  2. Maybe if you weren't wearing high heals they would stop yelling things at you. Besides, they may make your calfs look good, but they're bad for your feet.

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  3. I suppose Anonymous thinks his comment is funny but, aside from his poor spelling skills, he is a proponent of stereotyping. If all the closeted, passing-for-straight gays would own up you'd see some burly sports players living their real life!!!

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  4. Maybe this poor soul has Tourette Syndrome and just felt the need to curse the air just as you were going by. Have ya thought about that?

    Can people with TS control their tics?


    Although the symptoms of TS are involuntary, some people can sometimes suppress, camouflage, or otherwise manage their tics in an effort to minimize their impact on functioning. However, people with TS often report a substantial buildup in tension when suppressing their tics to the point where they feel that the tic must be expressed. Tics in response to an environmental trigger can appear to be voluntary or purposeful but are not.

    Reference

    http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tourette/detail_tourette.htm#121653231

    Retrieved on June 4, 2009

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  5. http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tourette/
    detail_tourette.htm#121653231

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  6. The guy just had a "TIC" which needed to be released. You just happened to be there when it was vocalized. Forget it and move on.

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  7. Anonymous number 2: It's okay, my calfs look plenty fine without high heels. Besides, when they grow up to be cows, I'll get some fresh milk.

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  8. Anonymous 2, get off the cross we need the wood.

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  9. Anonymous 1-show yourself, coward.

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  10. Drive by faggoting hahahahaha oh MY.

    That bloke is one serious asscrack, he will fall down it one of these days !

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  11. Anonymous #3
    Forgive him. Offer to feed him, get him something clean to wear, offer him a place to clean up. Find him a job. He may need physical or mental help. Help him with his needs.

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  12. Get him a job? I can't even get myself a job.

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