Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Can't Touch This

Damn it! Why don't I check to see if I have towels in the bathroom before I get in the shower? This is the second time in the last few days I've done this. Last time I was lucky, Mark had left a hand towel behind when he took the rest of the towels out to the wash. I was able to do a pretty good job of drying off with that little thing. This time however my only options are to either run out into the hallway naked, and dripping wet to get a fresh towel out of the closet, or use one of Mark's decorative towels.

Hanging from the main towel rack in the bathroom are Mark's special towels that are not to be used by anyone, at any time, ever. They are there only for show. Who the hell they are there to show off for, I don't know. It's not like we get hoity toity visitors every day, after all Lady Diana is dead, and she never did answer our invitation. After pondering the situation for two seconds, I decided that it didn't matter, I was wet, and the towels were dry. It turns out that lace and satin towels are lousy for drying off. They are very scratchy, and non-absorbent.

Mark isn't as bad as somebody else I know. This person has a beautiful house up in a Chicago suburb, with a beautiful living room that is only accessible if you are on her list. Otherwise you are ushered past the velvet rope that delineates the extent that commoners are allowed into her home, and on into the 'family' room. The living room is for her yearly Christmas display, or for that rare occasion that the Pope visits. At least I think that's who she's saving it for. Of course I am just kidding about my mother. We have all been allowed into her living room at least once in our lives. However, I now need to re-fold these towels I've screwed up before Mark sees them. He isn't kidding.

10 comments:

  1. I used those towels every time I used the bathroom.

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  2. I understand that you wouldn't want those ass cooties that are on your towels to get on my good stuff.

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  3. Put a Frette bathrob (Turkish terry cloth) on your Christmas wish list. Always good to have in case of emergency. ;-)

    (No, mine is not from Frette, but Turkish terry cloth, nonetheless.)

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  4. That is exactly what happened to me and I had to use a hand towel to dry off.

    My aunt is just like your mom. You are ushers past the immaculate living room to either the family TV room or the downstairs basement 'party" room. She vacuums the living room perfectly so that if anyone does enter they actually leave footprints behind! My aunts living room hasn't changed since the 1970s.

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  5. I had a friend who's mother had all the furniture, the lamps and wall to wall carpet covered in plastic. She even had plastic runners over the wall to wall plastic.

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  6. NO ONE beats my m-i-l for "show" rooms! I'll never forget bringing 2 young kids to visit them in Colorado. I think my kids were the only ones able to hear my silent scream when I found them "building a fort", in her fancy sunken living room, out of the never-sat-upon couch cushions! Thank god she was busy in the kitchen while we put it all back.........

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  7. "I don't know WHAT he is talking about....MY living room isn't off limits! Look at the beautiful (purple themed) tree that I have in there, people have to go in there to appreciate it! And I don't have a velvet rope...that is a gate to keep the dog blocked in! Oh well, I KNOW he exaggerates to be funny......"

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