"Oh hi, I'm fine, dogs fine. How are ya?".
The 'ya' being my substitution for a name because I have no idea who this is greeting me.
I have a problem. I can't recognize people. Mark and I will be watching a television show and I'll ask, "Who is that woman, and why are they so impressed with her.?".
"My god Alan, you just watched her in that movie last night. That's Kirsten Dunst."
It doesn't just end there. I can't recognize a waitress who just seconds before stood next to me taking my order.
"Which one is our waitress Mark?"
"It's the blonde with the huge mole on her face, and one arm standing over there."
Then there's the woman on the next block, who I see every day when I walk the dog. Recently she had the huge hump on her back removed, and if it wasn't for the fact that she yells at me for letting Chandler on her lawn, I'd have been at a loss.
Last Friday Mark and I were invited to a party. I hate parties. I don't do small talk well, and by the time I loosen up so that I can feel comfortable conversing, I'm usually drunk. Parties also are usually filled with people I have met on occasion, yet I don't remember them. This party is no exception. Now I'm standing here with 'Ya', and I don't have Mark within whispering distance to ask, "Who the hell is this guy?". Later when I ask Mark, it turns out that we've all been out before, had dinner together, and even been over to his house, yet his face might as well be a blank piece of cardboard.
Don't get me wrong, after repeated meetings, I do eventually remember people. I'm pretty sure I could pick my mom out of a line up, at least I could if she doesn't change her hair or too many other things about herself.
I always ask people to remind me of their name. At least you have something to start up a conversation with.
ReplyDeleteGarrett, please don't end a sentence with a preposition.
ReplyDeleteAlan, bet you don't have a hard time with a good looking 20 year old.
Male.
ReplyDeleteYou've got Prosopagnosia. I heard about it while trying to raise my IQ during an NPR episode. Looks like I'm gonna need the extra points because the grammar police have shown up.
ReplyDeleteprosopagnosia pros·o·pag·no·sia (prŏs'ə-pāg-nō'zhə, -zē-ə)
ReplyDeleten.
An inability or difficulty in recognizing familiar faces; it may be congenital or result from injury or disease of the brain.
That's something I don't know about.
It could be from my chemo or something after.
I just don't know if was that or something in addition to.
Anonymous:The often heard but misleading “rule” that a sentence should not end with a preposition is transferred from Latin, where it is an accurate description of practice. But English grammar is different from Latin grammar, and the rule does not fit English. In speech, the final preposition is normal and idiomatic, especially in questions: What are we waiting for? Where did he come from? You didn't tell me which floor you worked on. In writing, the problem of placing the preposition arises most when a sentence ends with a relative clause in which the relative pronoun ( that; whom; which; whomever; whichever; whomsoever ) is the object of a preposition. In edited writing, especially more formal writing, when a pronoun other than that introduces a final relative clause, the preposition usually precedes its object: He abandoned the project to which he had devoted his whole life. I finally telephoned the representative with whom I had been corresponding. If the pronoun is that, which cannot be preceded by a preposition, or if the pronoun is omitted, then the preposition must occur at the end: The librarian found the books that the child had scribbled in. There is the woman he spoke of.
ReplyDeleteAllen: We're just getting old.
ReplyDeleteYou should always attribute from whom you have copy and pasted from. Oops, there's that pesky preposition again.
ReplyDeleteAl, you can solve this problem with a little effort. Now listen up: "I'd like you to meet Gary Smutt." Now picture a bubble over your head, like you're thinking. Smutt--he has a face like a dog---Gary, there were dogs in the Christmas Story depicting Gray (Indiana). "Nice to meet you,Gray Smutt,I'm Al Brown." Now try it!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, what if Gary Smutt has the face of a raccoon? Although I do also have a problem with names, it's the fact that I don't even remember their faces that screws me up.
ReplyDeleteTwo ladies are sitting next to each other on a plane. One is a Yankee and the other, a Southern Belle. The Southern Belle turns to the Yankee and asks,
ReplyDelete"So where y'all from?"
The Yankee turned her steely gaze to the Southern Belle and replied,
"I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with a preposition."
Silence ensues and the flight continues until a few minutes later when the Southern Belle again
turns to the Yankee and asks,
"So, where y'all from, bitch?"
Alan, blame it on the chemo, Don does!
ReplyDeleteI've written all the grammar, definitions and that joke down for future reference.
ReplyDeleteGood answer Sue, I'll start blaming everything on the chemo. Farts, saying stupid things, the fact that I wet the bed as a kid.
ReplyDeleteMiss Manners: Sorry about that. Use your plagiarism software to find the source.
ReplyDeletehttp://scanmyessay.com/
Yes Alan, there is such a thing called "chemo brain" and mixed with the aging process it can be deadly!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat? Who are you and what did you say again?
ReplyDelete