Shock and Barf

Snap! A spark flies, and Carlotta kitty runs away from me. Zap! Little Sasha backs off and gives me a quizzical look. I have lived in Florida for so long I had forgotten about static electricity. In the last few days I have discovered that my new recliner chair with the nifty micro-fiber upholstery, is a great generator of static shocks as long as the humidity is low. Usually the humidity around here is so high that mold grows on you, but over the last weekend a beautiful cool front came through and dropped it under fifty percent. Now every time I slide my ass into my chair, I'm locked and loaded. I know that the dogs and cats think I'm some kind of sadistic bastard every time I touch them, so I try to disarm the built up static by giving Mark a little touch if he's near.

Despite the static shock drawback, I love micro-fiber upholstery. I have gone through numerous chairs, and sofas over the years, usually destroyed by slobbering animals and some nasty human behavior. In just a few short years, upholstered items in this house look like some kind of science experiment gone awry. Stains, snags, rips, and various mystery patches show up before they have even been paid off. Not the micro-fiber stuff. I have a sofa and a recliner chair covered in it. After two years of Chandler lounging on it, and leaking slobber, the sofa still looks great. As for the new recliner chair, Fat Kitty christened it with a huge pile of barf last week, and after I cleaned the thing up you couldn't tell where she puked. I love my new recliner chair. It's comfortable, looks good, and when the humidity drops, I get to zap Mark with a nice little shock every time he walks by.