So I get great dinners, and even sometimes lunches, but almost never does Mark cook breakfast. Believe it or not, Mark has me do that. I remember how it started, "Just whisk some eggs up in a bowl, and fry some bacon. It'll be just fine." But it wasn't. Mark hated my eggs, "Too grainy, don't add milk.". I'd put toast on his plate, and it would end up in the dogs bowl, along with the bacon that I hadn't done just perfectly. "I like my bacon crisp.", Mark told me while gagging on a piece of unfried bacon fat. It seems that no matter what I try, breakfast sucks. Yet he still insists I keep cooking breakfast. So this morning I tried something new, chocolate pancakes. I loved them. They were like very light and fluffy brownies with maple syrup on them. How did Mark like my special breakfast this morning? Well, I noticed that he didn't try to feed the pancakes to the dogs. At least they won't get sick, and leave me with diarrhea to clean up off the neighbors lawn. Instead Mark just dumped them in the garbage can, figuring that even the dogs didn't deserve such slop. Some people might be insulted by having their hard work just dropped in the trash, but not me. I was flabbergasted that he would throw away food that starving children would love, or at least food that I would have eaten. Anyway, that's how Mark stays skinny, by not eating what's on his plate, and I stay fat, by eating pancakes out of the garbage can.
Alan, how can your description of chocolate pancakes be so different from what I'm seeing in that picture? I do not see light or fluffy and definitely not brownie. It's more like transverse sections cut from a cadaver's right leg...and remember, I'm a medical illustrator so I do know what that looks like.
ReplyDeletePossibly the fact that they were doused with maple syrup makes them look heavier than they were. Or,in my mind they were great because I made them.
ReplyDeleteBTW, at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago, there are two human cadavers that were sliced up and put in formaldehyde. One woman and one man. One was sliced vertically, and one horizontally. They were put on display in a stairwell landing, in clear glass cases. Very creepy to children. When I saw them later as an adult, I could swear that I could smell them right through the glass.
That's sounds like a cool museum. We have the Mütter Museum here in Philly. They've got cool stuff like that...and by cool I mean VERY gross pathology of all kinds of creatures. Makes you realize how quickly things can go wrong.
ReplyDeletep.s. that formaldehyde smell does tend to stick around.
Your cholesterol was sky high because you did not heed my warning about eating more of a vegetarian diet and reducing dietary sodium, fats, and sugar. Now you have to be on drugs for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteIt's not to late to change over.
http://features.peta.org/govegan/
If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you
ReplyDeletehave any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?
Cows get their revenge by clogging the arteries of meat eater and causing heart disease. It has been proven that a plant based diet helps prevent many degenerative diseases.
ReplyDelete