Monday, December 3, 2012
"Mark, look at my eye. What does it look like to you?"
"Awk! Oh my god that's so disgusting. Why did you make me look at that? Erp, barf."
Mark does not handle gore very well even though he loves to rent horror movies. Anyway, I took Mark's reaction to mean that my eye had problems. It was very bothersome, but I figured I'd call the doctor in the morning, and take care of it then. It was five thirty this morning when I awoke, and my left eye popped open. The right eye wanted to pop open, but couldn't. Somebody had crazy glued the thing shut, or so it seemed. I stumbled to the bathroom in the dark, and turned on the light. Geez, I thought, I think my eye has exploded. It was throbbing, and fluids were running out of it like the chocolate fountain at the Golden Corral Diner. So for three hours I sat up in a chair with a box of tissues, waiting for my eye doctor's office to open so I could call them.
According to the doctor, I have conjunctivitis. Very contagious, very nasty, and it doesn't look pretty. I have to be careful to keep away from Mark, and not cross contaminate it to my other eye. From what the doctor told me I assume this virus is like a tiny Superman, and can actually fly across space if you get too close to another person. Sweet, now when Mark starts nagging me about shit, I'll remind him to back off. I'm totally contagious.