Friday, April 25, 2014

Pussy Pink



So Rudy had two bars back in the 1980's, one was a very upscale place on Halsted Street where older gay gentlemen could come and sing along at the piano bar. That was where I worked and that was the bar that my brother deemed an acceptable place to bring his young daughter. Other than the penny ante electronic gambling machine, everything at that bar was on the up and up. Rudy's other bar was over on Clark Street. It was not a gay bar, it was not upscale, it was not a place that you would bring your young daughter, unless your young daughter was Honey Boo Boo. I bartended at the Clark Street bar once, filling in because somebody had got sick. It was damn scary and I was glad that at least I had the bar between me and the mid-afternoon drinkers. People who drink in the middle of the day have a problem, and I think drinking is the least part of it. Anyway, one of the big issues at the Clark Street bar was the bathroom situation. For some reason people who sit around drinking for hours on end seem to feel a rage in them that can only be mollified by ripping a toilet from the floor or smashing a mirror. After replacing numerous toilets, mirrors, and sinks, Rudy bricked the men's room up. Not the door, but the actual room was bricked up. Brick walls, brick encased sink, and a totally brick encased toilet. There was a hole to pee into and the basin of the sink was exposed enough to wash your hands, but there was no way you could smash them. As for the mirror, there was none. Now the problem with bricks is that they are porous, and after just a few weeks of use, because men are pigs and when drunk do not aim very well, that bathroom started to smell really bad. No amount of bleach seemed to do the trick. As for the ladies room, that was re-done also. The door could only be opened electronically from the behind the bar and only women were allowed in. No bricks in there, just yards and yards of pink fake fur. The walls were covered in pink fake fur, the toilet was wrapped in pink fake fur, the vanity was covered completely in pink fake fur, and on the floor, pink shag carpeting. Guess which bathroom I used.

4 comments:

  1. Your story just gelled the two options I'm giving my girlfriend for remodeling our upstairs bathroom.

    Putting Home Depot and Joanne's Fabrics on the to-do list for this weekend.

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  2. Did you have to dress up as Alicia to take a pee break?!

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  3. Also...any pictures of that bricked up bathroom? That is an absolutely hilarious solution to the problem!!

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  4. I'm sure there is a photo of it somewhere at Rudy's apartment. I'll ask him next time.

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