Wednesday, April 23, 2014


No there is no Kunte Kinte here. Maybe couldn'ta, can'te. A few months ago my neighbor came to me and suggested that I let him cut down the giant schefflera tree that was growing on our property. When I planted that thing twenty years ago, I was only familiar with schefflera trees that I had seen in pots growing in homes, offices, and malls up north. I had no idea that here in Florida they grew into monsters and that even if they didn't topple during a hurricane and crush your house, the root system would wrap around anything that even remotely oozed moisture. That was what my neighbor, a native of Florida, was worried about. My tree hung menacingly over both his house and my house, and in his pitch to get rid of it he kept repeating, "We gotta kill that thing". He was right, the roots had spread under the sidewalk and were pushing my back porch up on an angle. Over by the air conditioning, schefflera roots had encircled the cooling units and were sending tendrils into every possible crevice looking for water. So yesterday the neighbor fired up his chain saws, I pulled on my big boy pants, and together we killed that thing. It is all gone now but for the stump and the roots. The plan is to drill holes into the stump and inject stump killing poison into it. I'm not sure exactly how environmentally sound that idea is. I am assuming that the stump poison is safe, because surely the government wouldn't let them sell that stuff if it wasn't. Right?


  1. That is extremely butch of you, Alan.
    If you run out of stump poison try drilling holes and filling it with rock salt. My father did this to a tree that he wanted the city to cut down. They said they wouldn't do it unless the tree was dead. Rock salt did the trick...

  2. Hostess, I wish I had known that trick back when I had three gigantic acacia trees dropping crap into my swimming pool all year round. Thankfully Hurricane Wilma took care of them. I do have some monstrous black olive trees growing just on the other side of the fence in my other neighbor's yard. She refuses to cut them back... rock salt, you say.

  3. Or bleach.

    That's what my neighbour used to kill a tree in her yard.

    Nice going with the tree, Alan. We are much too timid to try something like that.

  4. The one thing I failed to mention is that today is bulk waste pick up. If your city does not pick up the stuff you've chopped down, disposal could be a problem.

  5. Found this on Pinterest.
    Maybe it will help.

  6. Thanks Christine. That sounds a lot more gentle than poison.