Monday, April 21, 2014

Sharp Dressed Man

            "You aren't going out looking like that are you?"
            "I'm going to walk dogs with Dean over at the shelter. This is what I wear."
            "You look like a homeless bum. My god, what if somebody we know sees you out there?"

I have a specific wardrobe for walking the dogs at Abandoned Pet Rescue. I have the blue shirt, the yellow shirt, the red shirt, and the other blue shirt. They all have holes in them, are usually very wrinkled, and most of all, I don't give a damn about them. Mark won't go into the APR shelter because of the smell. He doesn't know what it is like to walk those dogs. He doesn't understand that there is a good chance I will get big muddy paw prints on my shirt and there is also the outside chance that I could get a bit of dog poo on myself, or even pee. Well... I've never got dog pee on my shirt, but I have had dogs lift their leg on my shoe as if to say, "There, now you're mine.", so I also wear old beat up shoes. Basically I wear beat up old shoes, old socks, shorts with paint stains on them, and the afore mentioned shirts. So yes Mark, I do look like a homeless bum. A homeless bum walking homeless dogs, down the strip of poop strewn weeds next to the rail road tracks, usually with a Publix shopping bag full of dog shit. Putting it that way, Mark might be right. I'll buy some new tee shirts this week.


  1. Keep the outfit and ask for spare change for drinks that night. You deserve a reward for your good deeds.

  2. Couldn't Mark sew up those rips on his sewing machine?

  3. Laughing out loud at the description at the end...