Thursday, May 29, 2014

Jalousie Jealousy

I listened to everybody up north bitch for the last eight months about the weather, and it was awesome. Lots of facebook posts from you guys about snow and cold, because after all, what else is there to do when everything is frozen and the wolves are in your backyard? Well it's my turn now. Summer is upon us, in fact it hardly left this year. Even as you guys were shivering and wearing layers and layers of clothing, we never got chilly at all this past winter. But now the heat and unrelenting humidity here have built back up to full summer strength. It's the time of year when you step outside and are immediately drenched. It's so damn humid that you aren't even sure if it's rain or just very muggy. The most amazing thing about Florida and it's weather is that people lived here before air conditioning. My air conditioning burped the other day. The temperature soared to seventy seven degrees in my house, and I immediately started pounding on the door of my neighbor who repairs them. I cannot live without the A/C. Interestingly, across the street from me is an old man who lives alone. He never, ever turns on his air conditioner. I don't know how he does it. Every day of the year he has his windows open while the window/wall air conditioner sticking out of the front of his house sits silent. I'm thinking that maybe he has some kind of condition where his body doesn't feel heat. Kind of like Mr. Freeze from Batman, only in reverse. Either that or he's just very cheap and doesn't want to pay the electric bill. I can't blame him for that, the three hundred dollars a month that I pay is a bit steep. The only thing about my neighbor though, is what must that house smell like? The old guy used to have a dog. Imagine that, old man odors and old dog odors combined with heavy humid air, it makes me a bit queasy just thinking about it. I don't know what happened to his old dog. Suddenly one day he stopped walking it. I assume it died, probably of asphyxiation. 


  1. We had a coldfront with rain yesterday. It is currently 53 degrees here in Philly. The high will be 64. I am sporting a light sweater in the office. I would sweat like a monkey and smell like your neighbor's dead dog in Florida.

  2. I know what you mean about the days before AC. Two of my best friends grew up in FL before the days of Air Conditioning (I don't know why I capitalised that. And excuse the British spelling but my computer automatically does that.)

    They told me that they just sat quietly, staring into space, all summer long.

  3. I believe that Kim. I sat for two weeks after Hurricane Wilma, when we had no electricity for two weeks, staring off into space. If you moved, sweat poured off of you.