Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Tick Tock

Doctors must hate it on that rare occasion when hypochondriacs get it right. My chance to be right was in 1987. Late that year I didn't feel very good and I knew that something was horribly wrong with me. After going to the doctor numerous times and being told that all I had was post nasal drip, I finally saw a different doctor who informed me that I did not have post nasal drip, I had cancer. Well, nana nana boo boo, stick your head in doo doo, I was right and the doctor was wrong. So now every time I get sick I begin my own diagnosis. In the past I have diagnosed myself with rabies because I got sick right after a dog bite. It turns out that the rabies symptom incubation period is from one to three months. There was no way I was going to get sick immediately after the dog bite. Then there was the time I thought I had brain cancer. I went to the doctor a few times before he finally gave in and ordered a MRI of my brain. When I was told after the MRI that there was nothing there, I didn't know if I should be happy or insulted.

            Last Thursday I found a tick on myself, a filthy, disgusting tick. I also found some kind of insect bite on my belly. So putting two and two together, I assumed tick bite. We've been having a lot of trouble here with ticks since I cut down the large tree next to the house and had all the shrubbery around the house cleaned up. I think we stirred them up. Twice Miss Bette has come around with a plump, live tick attached to herself. Even though I treat her with tick and flea poison they just can't seem to resist that young schnauzer meat. On the day after I found the tick on myself, I began having diarrhea, headaches, body aches, and a feverish feeling. Immediately I went to the internet. Sonofabitch if I don't have Lyme disease. According to every web site I went to, when I punched in the symptoms and the variable of being bitten by a tick, Lyme disease came up. So as soon as I can, I am going to make an appointment with my doctor. It's been twenty seven years since I was right and the doctor was wrong. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this one. The only problem is that all those symptoms that I have are also the symptoms for hundreds of other illnesses. Come on Lyme disease, I need another winner.


  1. You are sick Alan. I just don't think it's Lyme. ;)

  2. Listen to Doctor Patti on this one. p.s.
    I'd like to see the "Tick Key" in action please, I don't believe it gets out the mouth parts which is a problem...

  3. Hostess, I don't actually have one of these yet, but here is a review from Amazon.

    32 of 33 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars The best tick remover there is!, January 19, 2009
    Nancy A. Taylor (Oregon) - See all my reviews
    We live in a heavily wooded area, that is heavily populated with deer and other wild life. We treat our cats & dogs regularly with Advantix, but every now and then they still come home with ticks. We saw these at a local co-op and decided to try them, we purchase one for us and one for a friend. We've tried all the other ways to get ticks out, hot matches, tweezers, twisting them and pulling them out. With this, you just put it over the tick and pull it out. The whole tick comes out everytime. We have some semi tame cats and this works super on them, it is so easy. We gave the one we had to my grandson when he was visiting because he also lives in a high tick area. Went back to the Co-op to get more, but they were out of them so I came online to find them. I bought 5 this time, so we would not be without them again. I HIGHLY RECCOMMEND this for anyone who's pets come into to contact with ticks. You will not regret this purchase.
    Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
    Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

  4. I just got back from the doctor's office. He says that Lyme disease is not a factor in South Florida. It's a northern disease. Doc says I should eat rice, crackers, and bread until my poop firms up. He says that ticks are fairly innocuous around here.

  5. I pulled a tick off the back of my neck a few years ago and, because I have plenty of deer around here, I went to the Immediate Care place. I had the tick sealed in a small ziploc bag for identification......not a deer tick and I had no symptoms. So hypochondria does not run in our family. ....but Alan, you have earned the right! Hail to you'll, cancer warrior!

  6. Poop, can't edit out my mistakes!

  7. Peggy me again, That's why I proof read everything twice. Still I make a misteak or too.

  8. I was still concerned about you last night.I know that there is quinine in tonic water and therefore G&Ts prevent malaria, but I have yet google an alcoholic beverage used for Lyme disease. I will keep looking...

  9. I often wonder what is the difference between poop and poo? Is it that poop is little nuggets of poo and poo looks like a pile of dark chocolate swirl ice cream you get at the Dairy Queen? please elaborate

  10. I don't know Mr. Bodine. Why don't you taste both and tell us what the difference is. Do you prefer sugar/waffle or cake cone?