Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Hip Hop Haircut

I used to go to a barber shop called Joe's. It was okay, fast and efficient. When Joe's started to get too popular I switched to Ron's Barber Shop. Once again, fast, efficient, and this time cheap. Only ten dollars. Well now Ron's has gotten too popular and the fact is that I hate to wait. So yesterday I asked Mark to take me to where he gets his hair cut.
"Uh, ummm... it's kind of black. I mean, it's all young black guys and Puerto Rican guys cutting hair."
"You don't think they would know how to cut an old white guys hair?"
"I think it would be like when I'm the only black guy in a white barber shop. They just don't know how to cut my hair."
Well it's not like I have some kind of fancy 'Flock of Seagulls' haircut, so I made Mark bring me over there. It turned out that Mark couldn't be more wrong. When I walked in, a nice young black man with Rastafarian dreadlocks beckoned me over to his chair and asked how would I like my hair cut.
"Very easy, I want it short. Number three clipper on top, one and a half on the sides."
One thing Mark was correct about, the place was young. Everybody was easily under thirty years old, all had sagging pants, and they spoke in slang that I have never heard before. Around the shop were five big screen televisions playing cartoons, which is a far cry from the porno they played at Ron's, and the sports shows that played at Joe's. In a matter of about thirty minutes I had my hair cut. Around the edges the young barber took a razor and made sure that each and every hair was trimmed exactly the same, something no white barber has ever done. When he was finished with that, he trimmed my eyebrows, shaved my neck, and sprayed some kind of fragrance on me that he may have got from a prostitute on Federal Highway (which is where you would go for a very cheap whore in Fort Lauderdale). All in all, I was very happy with my ethnic haircut. The fact that the place was full of good looking young men didn't hurt either. Hopefully all the other old gay guys won't find out about it and ruin it for me.


  1. One of your biggest fansDecember 10, 2014 at 7:43 AM

    Only you could make a trip to get a haircut so entertaining! Thanks Alan.

  2. Well done, Alan. Well done.

    If only there were such a place for middle aged ladies.

  3. I remember the time a frozen white guys was a popular thing

  4. That was suppose to read "Afros on white guys". my speech to text isn't working right I think it took the day off

  5. Well played, Alan. Never a problem when some sweet-young-thing leans in to trim up that cut.