Monday, September 7, 2015

Some Were Laborious

Happy Labor Day. I was laying in bed this morning thinking about past Labor Days and just what the day is all about. It's about work. It's about jobs and what you do or have done to earn your way through life. That got me to thinking and inventorying all the jobs I've ever had. It turns out I've had a lot of jobs. Albeit, some that lasted only a few days.
  1. Paperboy. I didn't like it very much, but it did allow me some cash above and beyond the twenty five cents allowance my dad gave me.
  2. Sandwich maker and chicken fryer at Geno's Pizza. I got fired from that job when I was sixteen years old because I was a little asshole.
  3. Bag boy/Stock boy at the Jewel Food Store in Tinley Park. I did not hate that job, which says a lot.
  4. Can packer at Continental Can Company. My first full time, adult job. I made as much money as a full grown man with real responsibilities, which I was not. That's because it was a union job.
  5. Plastic cable tie mold operator in a plastics factory on the midnight shift. I made a lot of money here, but I hated it and eventually got fired after a couple of years because I kept calling in "Sick".
  6. Ice cream truck driverOne of those jobs that only lasted a few days. It seems like it would be a pretty nice job, but no. It turns out that kids are little morons who can't make up their minds about what they want. Also, they don't tip. On the third day of this job the truck broke down. I left it sitting in the middle of the street, in some little subdivision, in Alsip, Illinois, and never went back
  7. Pizza delivery man on the North Side of Chicago. I liked this job. All cash, no taxes, and I got some interesting offers from some of my customers. None that I accepted though.
  8. Hippie band roadie, Grand Mound, Iowa. This job only paid in beer, pot, and room and board. The only reason I got this job was because I had the Volkswagen van.
  9. Yellow Cab Driver, Chicago. I liked this job... until the night three guys stuck a gun to my head and took all my money.
  10. Delivery driver for a wholesale shoe findings company. Shoe findings? Yes, the things a shoe repair man uses to repair shoes. That stuff had to come from somewhere, and I was the guy who delivered it to them. Probably the job I loved the most in my life. 
  11. Night clerk at a 7-Eleven® in Oakland, California. Not a great job, but I did get free cigarettes, and all the slurpees I could slug down. Once again, not so bad until the night I got a gun stuck in my face and was robbed.
  12. Television rental delivery man, San Francisco, California. I got into great shape hauling those giant color televisions (the kind with the tubes) up and down stairs and sloping sidewalks. I really can't believe I used to pick those things up and carry them up two, three flights of stairs.
  13. Flash Cab Driver, Chicago, Illinois. The California thing didn't work out for me.
  14. Bartender at a gay bar called Dandy's in Chicago. What I liked about this job were the tips. What I hated about this job is that everybody on the other side of the bar was having a great time, all drunk and everything, while I had to remain sober because I can't work drunk. That and the fact that the boss didn't let me drink until the last hour of the night.
  15. Computer Tech, Burrough's Computer Corporation at Great Lakes Naval Base. Huh? That's quite a big jump from bar tending. Yes it is. I went to school at DeVry while driving the cab and bartending. It was the start of a good career. By the way, nothing pisses me off more than when I hear people deriding DeVry. They fulfilled their promise to teach me computer electronics, and I got a job before I even graduated.
  16. Computer Tech, XL Datacomp. Good company. They're the ones who transferred me to Florida.
  17. Computer Tech, Decision Data. They sent a head hunter out to hire me from the last company and gave me a fantastic deal. I would work about two hours a day and got paid a lot
  18. Computer Tech, Some computer company whose name I cannot remember because it was such a horrible experience. Again, a head hunter came calling and I got talked into taking this job. Better money, and I was my own boss because I was their only employee in South Florida. I got fired for using the word 'fuck' in front of a customer. To this day I don't think I did, but what I think doesn't matter because that word slips out of my mouth like that goo from a movie theater popcorn butter dispenser. So it's a possibility. It all ended very ugly.
  19. Computer Tech, Pyxis Corporation. This job involved repairing computer driven med dispensing equipment in hospital pharmacies and at the nurses stations. I truly liked this job, except for the sixty hours  a week that I worked, at all hours of the day and night.
  20. Hot Dog slinger, Big City Dogs, in Oakland Park, Florida. I lost my job as a computer tech when it became apparent that I was going blind. The three accidents with the company van and my own car made that quite clear. So Mark and I bought a hot dog/hamburger stand. Seriously, it would have been a good investment, and it would have made a ton of money... if I were thirty years younger and Mark didn't hate it so intensely.
  21. Retired Old Fart. Definitely the best job ever.  


  1. 1978. I just wasn't a California kind of guy. Moved back to Chicago just in time to experience the blizzard of January, 1979.

  2. Too bad being a retired fart doesn't pay very well!