Monday, November 2, 2015

Anger Management?

I've been trying very hard lately to control my temper. The near sale of the house and Mark's stubbornness provoked more than one full scale blowout by me. So I examined the process by which I dealt with things not going my way, and over the last month I have been much calmer.

The phone rang and Mark rushed to answer it. "Hello?" Said Mark, pausing to listen, and then handing the phone to me. "It's for you." I took the phone from his hand and put it to my ear. It was a recording. It was some asshat health insurance company trying to get my business. Normally I would have told Mark that he was an idiot for giving me that phone call, but I am a changed man. It's something that Mark does, interrupting me with useless crap, and I know that. So I bury my frustration deep down inside and carry on. Except this time I was also trying to change the channel on the television as he handed me the phone. And as he handed me the phone I inadvertently pressed a button on the television remote. The television screen went to blue with a little banner across it saying "No Input". So I pressed the input button on the remote. Nothing. I pressed the button that said 'TV'. Nothing. I started pressing every button on the remote. Nothing. I started punching the remote. Still nothing, other than rising blood pressure and a month's worth of buried frustrations bubbling up from deep inside. That's when it all blew up. That's when my month of realizing that there are things that Mark does that will never change, that after eighteen years of unclosed cabinets, unsecured screw on caps, unclosed toothpaste tubes, dirty clothes on the floor, etc., and that my screaming at him about it won't make it any better, all went down the drain.
"Don't hand me the m****r f**k**g phone if it's a goddamned recording."
"They said they were your insurance company."
"It wasn't my goddamned insurance company. Now because of you the television is screwed up. What the hell...  ?"
"Don't yell at me just because you can't change the channel without screwing things up."
As I felt the blood vessels in my brain reaching the point of bursting, I realized that I should just give up. So I threw the remote down on the bed and went for the door. That's when the miracle of the television happened. It came back on and I have no idea how or why other than throwing the remote had something to do with it. So anger can have its up side.

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