Wednesday, November 25, 2015

It Could Be Worse



The purpose of Thanksgiving is to contemplate the good things in life that we've been given. I like that much better than celebrating the invasion of the North American Continent and subjugation of the people who already lived here. In fact I don't even think of Native Americans on Thanksgiving. No need to ruin my turkey dinner. Anyway, here are the things I am thankful for.

The fact that I can still call my mom every week. We don't always have a lot to talk about on Sunday when I call her, but just hearing her voice brings a feeling of continuity and reassurance to my life. Thankfully, she comes from a family of long living folk and we'll be talking for years to come.

I am thankful that the PT Cruiser only cost me around $2,000 to maintain this year. That's much cheaper than buying a new car. Mark was not thankful when I told him the PT Cruiser is the last new car I am ever buying, but that's his problem.

Speaking of Mark, I am thankful that he has not killed me with food yet. Oh yes, he is trying to kill me. Mark is a very good cook and tends towards the comfort food trend. So I get lots of gravies, lots of fats, and lots of delicious, artery clogging dinners. It may have been a mistake to have put him in my will.

I am thankful that my little dog Bette's seizures have been brought under control. No longer do I have people stopping their cars, asking me if my dog is okay, and looking at me like I'm beating her as I desperately try to hold the twitching little pup down. I am also thankful that I haven't been arrested for being a peeping tom when Bette drags me right up to neighbor's front windows to take a poop (Bette's taking the poop, not me).

In this time of worldwide turmoil, this time of election madness with crazy, pandering candidates saying hateful shit that is almost always wrong. This time of cops shooting kids, and kids shooting cops. In this time of kids shooting kids, when thousands of Americans are killed every year with guns while the  public worries about assholes in beards a continent away coming to get them, I am thankful for the off button on my television and computer. Now if only there was an off button for Mark's mouth when he's arguing with Fox News. That, I would be very thankful for.

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