I love my little temperamental schnauzer, but one thing I don't love is taking her for a walk. That little bitch will keep crisscrossing the street, from yard to yard, looking for that perfect spot to pee in. And she does not pee or poop anywhere near the side of the street. No, she has to go way up into people's yards, right up to the front windows. It is very embarrassing.
Around one in the afternoon Miss Bette usually starts bugging me to take her for her afternoon walk. Yesterday I put the little harness on her, clipped the long reel leash to that, and off we went on our poop hunt. She ran up the nice school teacher's driveway and sniffed around under her front window. No go for peeing there. Next she tested Diane's house. Not good today, not even under the bedroom window where she really likes to pee. Across the next lawn, across the front porch. No squat here either. Finally, five houses down, Bette found the perfect spot to pee. As I stood there looking away from my neighbor's kitchen window that Bette was peeing under, I heard a tapping. It was the home owner. The kitchen door opened.
"Alan, come on in."
"Um... I have Bette with me."
"Bring her in. She can play with my dog."
So I stepped into the kitchen. Over at the hightop kitchen table were two elderly ladies who smiled and said hello. As they gushed over Bette my neighbor asked me if I would like a Bloody Mary. It was one in the afternoon and my neighbor was in a bath robe. From over at the table both ladies chimed in.
"We don't normally drink this early..."
"But John told us he made the best Bloody Mary in town."
"Oh, I don't drink this early either." I informed them. "So don't make mine too spicy." Meanwhile, Bette was having a great time running around the house. I love that little bitch.