Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Bitch's Bitch

How did I become that little bitch's, bitch? I'm talking about Bette. As Mark says, she has me wrapped around her little finger, if she had fingers. Bette has figured out how to get me out of my big fluffy chair and take her for a walk with eye contact alone. It's very similar to the eye contact she gives me that says "I have to Pee." The difference is subtle, but I've caught on. She does that one about ten times a day. My problem is that I obey Bette, she does not obey me. I did take her to training classes. I spent time with her, teaching her to sit, come, and stay, as best I could. That was two years ago and at the time she did learn those things. Now, I say come and she just stares at me. I might as well be a monkey, or Sarah Palin talking gibberish. I give Bette the command, "Sit!" and Chandler sits. Bette just stands there, again, staring at me. About the only thing Bette reacts to is "Cookie?" I say cookie and Bette immediately runs into the bedroom and stands next to the dresser where the treats are kept. So why don't I discipline her, why don't I re-train her to obey? Seizures, that's why. I am terrified that the stress of me forcing her to do my bidding will send her into a seizure. It's happened before, and it is horrible. So Bette gets away with murder. Cute and cuddly murder, but murder just the same. My biggest problem now is Chandler. He has been studying Miss Bette and has caught on. A couple of weeks ago Chandler chased a rat our of our kitchen and into the dog run where he caught up with it. I did not know that rats could scream so loud. Anyway, I made Chandler drop the rat and go into the house. This all happened around six in the morning. Now each and every morning I am awakened by Chandler's giant face staring at me from next to the bed. He gives a little whimper. A few second later he gives another whimper. If I still don't pay attention the whimpers get louder and louder until I get up and open the back door for him so he can check the last spot that he saw the rat as it limped away. He does not look for it at any other time of day, only early in the morning. I think I know where these dogs learned their tricks, but excuse me. I have to leave now. Mark is calling for me.

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