If You Start Me Up

Friday afternoon, Mark is at a dentist appointment and I am enjoying the peace and quiet at home when the phone rings.

"Hello."

"The car won't start!"

"What do you mean the car won't start?"

"It won't start. I'm in the dentist's parking lot and it won't start. I told you... "

"All right, all right, calm down. Now by 'it won't start', do you mean the engine doesn't turn over at all?"

"I don't know what that means. It won't start. I told you I was having trouble weeks ago... "

"Okay, I understand, but do you hear a clicking sound when you try to start it?"

"Waaaaa.... it won't start."

"Mark, we know that the ignition switch is bad. Have you tried pushing it in while turning the key?"

"I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING! IT WON'T START."

"I see. It won't start. Well, the new part I ordered is supposed to arrive today. Why don't you just take a taxi home and when the part comes I'll go over there and replace the ignition switch."

"How am I supposed to call a cab? I don't know the address."

"First, ask somebody at the dentist office what the address is. Secondly, look in your hand. That's called a telephone, it'll call the cab company if you dial the numbers into it."

"...I told you the car sounded funny, that something was wrong."

"The car sounded just fine to me when I drove it, unless you're talking about that Justin Bieber CD that you've had in there for the last two weeks. Then yes, the car sounds horrible."