Monday, June 20, 2016

China Grill

Mark grilled me up some outstanding steaks in the backyard Saturday. He also roasted some corn-on-the-cob and coated it in mayonnaise, Mexican cheese, and some kind of lime-pepper concoction. Sounds disgusting, but it was de-fucking-licious. Of course I had to earn that wonderful meal. I had to assemble the grill that Mark had purchased over a year ago. It sat in the shed, in the box, in Florida for nearly a year, and has been sitting in my mom's garage and now ours until two days ago. As you can see, I have been putting this one off for quite a while. For good reason.

Look closely at the assembly instructions above. I looked at them, and then looked again, and again. I re-read it over and over. I took a small break and thought it over for awhile. After a few dozen well placed F-bombs, I studied it more closely. It seems that they were trying to tell me to attach left front leg (2) and left back leg (3) to the grill body (1), showing me clearly in the drawing that the front was the back and the back was the front. Well goddamn, in a land where the front is the back and the back is the front, is it no wonder that the world is screwed up? Finally, after much cursing and throwing of things, I figured it out. Left front leg (2) and left back leg (3) were interchangeable. It did not matter whether they went on the front or the back, just so long as they were on the same side. So I got the thing put together alright, but it better not try to go to the bathroom in North Carolina.

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