Thursday, December 29, 2016


I was not going to let the backyard dog poop situation get out of control this winter. I had vowed to myself that I would go out there and pick up the poop as the dogs dropped it. And then it snowed. We had about three inches of snow in the yard for about two weeks. I would let the dogs out to go poop and they would go off into the far corners of the yard where they would deposit their loads. I could see it sitting there on top of the snow. If I trudged through the yard I could have picked it up before the heat of the poo let it melt down through the top layer. But ick, no! I was usually wearing my sneakers or slippers when I let the dogs out. I couldn't go out into the deep snow. I would just wait until I had some boots on and get it all at once. So the dog poo sat there deep within the snow layer. When the temperatures got too low, my dog Chandler balked at going out to the yard to poop. So I got out the snow blower and cleared half the lawn for him to poop on. As I ran through the yard with the snow blower I could hear the frozen turds hitting the side of the garage. Good, I thought, that will get them out of the way. A few biscuits I won't have to pick up. Two weeks later and all the snow has melted. A couple of days of unusually warm weather and all the snow vanished revealing just what was under all the white stuff. A lot of brown stuff. It is amazing how much dog shit is in that yard after only two weeks. Now the job of retrieving it is even more daunting. But I have a solution. I'll just wait for the temperatures to drop so that the turds will freeze, and then I can just pick them all up like so many boulders. Unless it snows before I can get out there. Then it's out of sight, out of mind. At least until spring.

I Googled "Dog Poop Pickup Service". Did you know that there are hundreds of dog poop cleanup businesses out there? They will get your shit together and take it away. It's a crappy job, but somebody has to do it and they will. I expect that they have good humor about it as they pick up the poopsicles. I hope this post hasn't been too much of a waste of your time. I had another subject I thought of writing about, but I dumped it and decided on using idea number two.
I kind of like this one. It looks like they mean business when it comes to your dog's business.

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