Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Oops, I Did It Again.

I have a history of stepping off into space and landing on my ass. I underestimate how many stairs there may be, I pay no attention to where the sidewalk ends, and I never seem to see that gaping hole I'm about to step in. The result of all those falls is that I have developed a very good sense of how to fall. There is no thrusting my hand out in front of myself, trying to break the fall. If you do try, the only thing you'll break is a bone. Now yes, I do get scraped up, but not that badly. Most importantly, I don't turn my ankles so much anymore. The minute I feel that terra firma giving way, I go with the flow, I tuck and roll.

Yesterday opened up as a beautiful clear day, so Scout and I went out for one last walk before the blast of super cold air moved in. Two blocks down and two blocks back around. Across cracked pavement, wet patches, and curbs. I moved along not missing a step. Until we came to our own front sidewalk, a sidewalk in perfect shape. Not a crack, not a flaw in it, yet I managed to step off the edge. Immediately my tuck and roll brain kicked in. As Scout tugged on the leash I grabbed tightly onto it and rolled right off the sidewalk and into the mushy, wet lawn. By the time the lady across the street came running up, asking if I was okay, I had rolled my fat ass back up onto the sidewalk and was already dragging myself up on my feet. Yeah, I'm really good at falling down.
The extent of my injuries.

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