Heavy Flow

(A story I wrote about eleven years ago, when we still lived in Florida.)

When I was about nine or ten years old I walked into a tree and I believe I broke my nose. Back in those days parents didn't drag you to the doctor for such insignificant injuries as that, so to this day I have what is referred to as a deviated septum. One problem that this has caused is that when the weather is cool and the humidity is low, I get a  bloody nose.

Once again, I am sitting here with a trash basket full of bloody toilet paper and no end in sight for the latest gusher. My usual fix for a bloody nose is Afrin nasal spray. It somehow restricts the blood vessels and stops the bleeding. So far I have squirted about three ounces of the stuff up my nostril, but it hasn't slowed the flow yet and I am starting to feel quite light headed. Usually the Afrin works and I don't have to go through more than one roll of toilet paper. Yes, I have seen a doctor about this problem. Unfortunately, most nose doctors here in South Florida are only interested in cosmetic surgery. If you aren't a fifteen year old Jewish girl from Boca with daddy's credit card in your purse, they just aren't interested in helping you. The doctor I went to just handed me a tube of ointment, told me to dab it in my nose, and sent me on my way.

Bloody noses aren't that bad when you're at home and can attend to them. It's a horrible thing though when you are out having a good time, suddenly you sneeze, and blood starts spewing from your face. One time, while Mark and I were having a pleasant breakfast at a nice little restaurant, I had a fit of sneezing. Blood immediately gushed forth. I hurried to the men's restroom, and tried to stem the flow with little squares of toilet paper and industrial strength paper towels. I ended up having to run through the restaurant, blood running down my shirt, yelling at Mark to pay the bill and meet me at the car. I really wish I could go back and apologize to all the other diners for ruining their breakfast. Maybe next time I'll run to the ladies room. I understand that sometimes they have tampon dispensers in there.