Tuesday, July 29, 2008

You Say It's Your Birthday

Birthdays to me, are just a horrible reminder of how fast time is flying by. When it comes to my birthday, all I really want is a card from my mother acknowledging that, yes she did give birth to me. I really don't care if no other person on earth remembers the day I was introduced to this world. Truthfully, a quick look in the mirror is all I need to keep me up to date on my aging process.

This past weekend, I got another reminder of the passage of time, when my baby sister turned forty years old. It is hard to ignore that the cute little teeny bopper that lived with my parents, long after my departure, is suddenly 'Middle Aged'.

On the same day as my sister, was my friend Russell's birthday. Now for Russell, we had a little dinner and wine with friends, nothing over the top. Unlike my sisters who always like to celebrate certain milestones, like your fortieth, fiftieth, and sixtieth birthdays by doing something embarrassing to you. Instead we had a nice meal, prepared by Mark, with nothing embarrassing happening to the birthday boy. Meanwhile up at my sisters house, a bunch of cardboard birds with a sign announcing that my sister was really old, had popped up on her front lawn.

I want to take this opportunity to reaffirm the fact that I have never partaken in any stunt such as, birds on the lawn, billboards, Today Show stunts, or any other embarrassing displays, that would point out just how very old my brothers and sisters are. I do this for one reason only, and that is to protect myself from being revenge targeted on my upcoming fiftieth birthday a few years from now. All I ask is, if any of my siblings are really insistent on such a dumb display, please get my address correct so as not to embarrass the wrong person. Remember that I live at 2601 W. Broward Blvd. Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33312.


  1. Not only are you old, you've obviously forgotten how to count.

  2. Now you've done it....and since your birthday is in December it is highly possible that said sisters may decide to descend upon your lawn! I have stockpiled all the lovely yard decor that was used for my past depressing number... and you are only 20 months younger than me!!!! I feel challenged to come up with even more entertaining ways to announce your BIG 60!!!! A marching band? A parade? Hmmmmmm.............

  3. Gee those Margarita glasses make our hands seem so small.

  4. Broward County Sheriff Office
    2601 W Broward Blvd
    Fort Lauderdale, FL 33312
    This is one of Alan's favorite stops after a night of drinking. I guess the old geeser (Alan) forgot about the World's Oldest Woman Celebrates One Hundred And Twenty Years Then he published a picture of Miss Peggy with her youngest son, 88 year old Rick. Miss Peggy still works as a "Miss Clairol" elder model.
    Alan said "I want to take this opportunity to reaffirm the fact that I have never partaken in any stunt." He has a short memory.

  5. I just got around to reading your blog since my birthday. Thanks again for a wonderful evening. Mark is quite the chef. That Greek meal was just fabulous. I think we went through six bottles of wine. And there were six of us..... You do the math.