Monday, October 13, 2008

Dancing Queen

Mark loves that Dancing With The Stars show, where they take non-stars and fading stars, and have them dance competitively. I have only seen parts of it on a few occasions, and it is lame. The last time I saw it some guy was throwing poor old Cloris Leachman around and dragging her across the floor. Can we say broken hip?

I had a very weird dream the other day. I dreamt that I was in a Broadway musical, and that I was actually very good. I was dancing my ass off, and jumping around in unison with the other dancers. When I woke up and thought about it I had to laugh, because I know that I can't dance. I knew I couldn't dance in the seventh grade. I came to that realization when I went to a school dance and in the middle of a frenzied demonstration of the 'Twist', I looked up and saw a gaggle of teachers laughing and pointing at me. That was the last school dance I ever went to.

Years later, I started going to the gay clubs in Chicago and after a little coaxing and quite a bit of vodka, I tried dancing again. I had rules about dancing however. If the dance floor was sparsely populated, I didn't dance. That's because I needed a jam packed dance floor, preferably very dimly lit. That way I could just wedge myself between a few other people and let them do all the work. Oh, and did I mention my other rule about the vodka?

I don't dance at all anymore. It's been many years since I even tried. I just don't have that dancing gene. So even if Cloris Leachman breaks a hip, I have to give her credit. At least she tries. I'm afraid that if I danced with my bad eyesight, and propensity to twist my ankle and fall on my ass, I just might break something. Besides they don't let old men with walkers out on the dance floor.

9 comments:

  1. Is that you in the red shorts running into the Bistro?
    I think you're missing a couple of gay genes, not just dancing. You do make up for these with the gay genes you do have.

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  2. Yes, I believe they are Levis.

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  3. Dugan's Bistro in the early 1970's was a blast! One of my favorite stories was when a bunch of friends and I went there as teenagers (18-19). We went before happy hour and snuck our 13 year old friend inside, hiding him under the table at out booth. We ordered 5 drink for the four of us. The waiter thought that was weird. After the place got jamb packed with people, our friend Sheldon would come out and go dancing. He usually got kicked out after a while only because he stood out like a beacon with his long blond hair and pixie looks. Those were the days. hehe

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  4. No Dennis, I believe that is Richard Simmons! C'mon Alan...I'm sure you could "sweat to the oldies" now that you are one! You're almost at the age that people give you a pass and say "Isn't he cute!" when you try to shake your booty! Also, not sure why we don't have a rhythm gene...except that "rhythm" didn't work for our parents!!

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  5. excellent photoshopping this time. I just laugh-snorted in the office.

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  6. I agree with Laura. You did an excellent job photoshopping and also putting Cloris Leachman's head on your body. You just look fabulous in that purple number. It really looks like you are on "Dancing with the Stars."

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  7. You don't think I was showing too much cleavage, do you?

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  8. cleavage??? I thought that was your ass!!!

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  9. I think you look best in the gold lemme

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