Monday, October 27, 2008

Hairballs

I have been letting Carlotta kitty back into the bedroom because she seems to be over her dispute with Fat Kitty. It was some months ago that Carlotta bit Fat Kitty on the ass, causing her to develop a pus filled abscess that sent her to the hospital. Unfortunately, Fat Kitty has not totally forgiven Carlotta. As long as Carlotta doesn't look at Fat Kitty when she walks by, all is fine. Last night at around three thirty in the morning, Carlotta must have looked at Fat Kitty wrong. I was torn out of a dream about trying to walk through a sponge filled house, by the screams and wailing of two pissed off, fighting kitties. As I stumbled out of bed, and fumbled around for the lights, the cats scattered to the far corners of the house.

I lay in bed for the next hour trying to fall back to sleep and pick up where I had left off on my dream. I really wanted to know why the house was filled with sponges. By this time Fat Kitty had retaken her spot on the edge of my bed, and as I lay there in the dark I could hear the unmistakable sound of a cat getting ready to heave. Again I jumped up, and flipped on the lights, but just as I grabbed Fat Kitty the contents of her stomach spewed forth onto the bed. While I was in the kitchen getting paper towels to clean it up, Mark started screaming, "Oh my god, she's puking again. Alan come quick, oh lord I'm going to be sick.".

Mark does not handle such things well. He is squeamish to the max. In fact one of my favorite things is to watch Mark step, barefoot, into a freshly ejected hair ball. You would think he had stepped on a snake and it had bitten him. He screams and curses, while simultaneously, hopping around on one foot. Then while I pick up the sloppy fresh hairball, Mark is bent over dry heaving. It's hilarious.

I hope all is quiet tonight. I really enjoy my dreams and prefer they just peter out, instead of being forcibly pulled out of them by screaming cats. Even worse is if I am jarred awake by Mark as he makes his way through the dark towards the bathroom, and steps in a fresh hair ball.


11 comments:

  1. You should start giving your cat "Hairball Remedy." It's a fish or meat flavored paste that comes in a tube. It lubricates their intestines so any hairballs can easily pass through their system.

    Also, weekly brushing can get rid of lots of loose fur that usually ends up being swallowed as the cat grooms themselves. So while you're relaxing with that cat on your lap why not brush them. It is good for them and good for you (and Mark's feet)

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  2. Catman@ What, and miss Mark stepping in it?

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  3. There are specialized cat foods that help with passing hairballs. Maybe Mark should learn to wear houseslippers instead of walking barefoot through the house, especially at night!

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  4. Did you really have to take a picture of the hairball to show us. I think it would have been funnier to show us Mark screaming hysterically after stepping in it.

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  5. So glad we are allergic to cats, that hairball pic has me dry heaving! Thanks Alan!

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  6. That almost looks like a turd.

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  7. Well, it was her turd hairball of the week.

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  8. Great story Alan but the hairball was too much!! I'm with Garrett - it would have been even funnier seeing Mark's hairball dance.

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  9. I don't lay in bed with the camera. I could set up a trip line so that when Mark goes to the toilet in the middle of the night it would automatically take his picture.

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  10. Aw, yuk. Thanks for the graphic image of a hairball. As if none of us have ever seen one. I'm glad you trimmed Carlotta's teeth.

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