Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Hey Girlfriend

I know there are many times that young ladies have gone out with a guy and it has been an disaster. Either the guy is a total boob, a bore, or a pervert. I know, because when I was in high school I actually used to go out with girls.

Now I am not saying that I was a pervert with any girl, it's just that at least on one occasion I think the girl that I was with was sure I was a raving sex fiend. I took this girl to the beach, and even though it was at least eighty five degrees and sunny, I couldn't convince her to take off the shirt that she was wearing over her swim suit. For some reason, the more she refused to take it off, the more I suggested she would be cooler if she took it off. I think if she had known that I was a raging gay boy, and the last thing I was interested in was her boobies, she would have been a little less inhibited.

I even dated one girl for at least six months. That girl must have been the most patient person I have ever met, but after six months of dating and me not even attempting to get past kissing, she gave up. It's not like I didn't try, I once touched the back of her bra, but I freaked out and backed off. I mean, she actually gave me instructions on how the thing worked, and all I could think of was 'Yuck, girly parts'.

The final time I ever dated a girl, was a blind date set up by my brothers fiancé. This date was horrible. It was the longest time I ever spent with a girl. Not in actual linear time, but in the fact that one hour felt like an eternity. I was bored, she was bored. We had nothing in common, other than the fact that we both liked boys. As I sat quietly in her apartment, sweating and counting the flowers on her wallpaper, I came to the realization that dating women wasn't going to make me straight. It was only going to make me crazy.

1 comment:

  1. Hehe..I too dated girls during my adolescent high school years. I even dated two sisters; one was one year older and the other was one year younger than me.

    I was constantly being "chased" by girls. I was once literally chased up on top of a garage roof by some neighborhood girls who threw rocks at me.

    Then there was the one eyed girl, the hillbilly girl, the latino girl who turned out to be lesbian (we found each other dancing in a gay bar years later. She was with her girl friend.)

    Just before I came out I was dating a Japanese girl named Yoko. I can just see our Amer-asian kids now...Mishu and Jet-li.

    Later on in college I once woke up next to a women I met in a Gay Bar! It was more of a "sister" thing though. We were both too drunk to do anything. hehe