Interior Designs, by Mr. Mark

Before I met Mark my home was much like some kind of hippy pad, or as my friend Dennis referred to it, 'early college dorm'. There is a myth out there that the gays know how to decorate, but the truth is much different. My home decorating skills have never progressed past the stage of my teenage bedroom. A big poster of Faye Dunaway, a funky little stereo, some books on a shelf, and I was good. By the time I hit my forties, I had added a floral patterned sofa, framed sports crap, and a television. When Mark moved in, he took one look and said, "This has got to go.".

The first thing Mark did was to paint the living room. In a rush of artistic fervor, he slapped on a coat of ochre colored paint, and then went back over it with a rag to give it texture. It took him almost a week to finish, and when he was done there was ochre paint spattered everywhere, including a bit on my dog Molly. Despite all that it was still an improvement and in fact it looked quite nice.

That was thirteen years ago, and our very stylish, rag painted living room is looking a bit dowdy now. So, Mark has decided that the living/dining room area must be repainted, which I am all for except for the fact that it won't be Mark painting it this time. Remember, he can't breathe. All the labor will fall on me, even though I have pointed out that I'm ten years older than Mark, have tendinitis, and I don't really see what's so wrong with the old worn paint job. Unfortunately Mark is like a runaway train when he starts on these things, and I will have to paint.

So now I have different paint samples dotting the walls, as Mark tries to make up his mind which color looks best. He has picked out a light blue, a light sage, and a darker green. My favorite is the light sage. I don't like the blue because the bedroom and the kitchen are already blue, and the dark green reminds me too much of the puking scene in the movie, The Exorcist. Of course what I like doesn't really matter that much. In fact Mark is at Home Depot right now picking up a few more color samples. If Mark keeps slapping up these different samples, he will eventually cover the entire room, which would be fine by me. I'd just leave it like that and call it my new 'style'. After all, who's going to question a gay man's sense of style.