Plumbers Crack

From my vantage point I could see down into the narrow canyon. It started at a dimpled clump of scraggly back hair, and disappeared as it widened, down past the leather belt into a damp, dark void.
"This bath fixture doesn't quite fit. If I have to replace the entire connection behind the wall, you'd be running into a bit of money for that."
My new plumber pulled himself up from his squat, and turned towards me, "I tell you what, I'll come back tomorrow with a different faucet. I'll install that toilet, and fix those kitchen sink connections then."
It was late in the evening already so I acquiesced.
"Okay, what time tomorrow?"
"I'll be here by nine."
This past week I discovered the golden rule of hiring plumbers, don't let them leave until the job is finished.

After my last experience with a plumber I decided to try a new one that a neighbor recommended. The last guy charged me twenty four hundred dollars to rebuild Mark's shower, and it took him over a week to do the job he said would take three days. I didn't have that kind of time for the job of fixing up my rental apartment, nor the money. I needed to have the place ready to rent out on the first of March. So nine the next morning I waited for the dogs to go crazy when the plumber knocked on the door. They didn't, because he didn't. In fact when I called the guy at noon, he gave me some excuse and promised he'd be there before five in the evening.
At six he called.
"I'm so sorry, I had an emergency job. I'll definitely be there tomorrow morning."
Again I waited. It was around two in the afternoon, the next day that he returned my call.
"I'll be there in an hour. Or better yet, are you doing anything Sunday?"
Now this was Friday afternoon, and yes, I did have plans for Sunday.
"Sure. Come over on Sunday and finish the job."

Yes, this plumber has the proverbial 'Plumbers Crack', and it was disgusting. But that isn't the plumbers crack I'm talking about. I'm beginning to suspect this plumbers crack is in a pipe that he smokes. It is now Monday, and the guy still hasn't shown up, or even called.