Warning: Bad Words in This Post

F.........................................................................................................................................................k!

Before

Yesterday I tore out the kitchen in the front rental unit, and each one of those dots in the previous sentence represents how many times I said the word fuck. I actually may be short a few. I forgot how dangerous it was to tear out those fifty year old cabinets. The last time I did it, surprisingly enough, was on September 10th, 2001. It was the cabinets in our own unit that I tore out on that day. Of course that date sticks in my mind because the next day when I was supposed to be prepping the kitchen for the new cabinets, I instead sat in front of the television for about eighteen hours. I blame the terrorists for my kitchen not being put back together correctly.

In an effort to get more rent out of the front rental unit, I decided to goose it up a bit. So I am putting in new kitchen cabinets, a new vanity and toilet in the bathroom, and I am plugging up all the gaping holes that the rats, and palmetto bugs use to gain entry to the apartment. My first task was to remove the newer cabinets along the side wall. It turned out that because of the leak in Mark's shower on the other side of that wall, all the press-board cabinets that had been installed some years ago had soaked up the water like a sponge. As I picked up the first one to carry it outside, the damn thing disintegrated, dropping a heavy chunk of it on the instep of my foot. I now have a nice bruise there, and a bit of pain. I also introduced the next door neighbors to a new record for the number of times the word fuck could be said without taking a breath. That record was soon shattered when I pried the upper cabinets over the sink off the wall, and they came crashing down tearing into my shin. This time there was blood, and skin was peeled away from the shin bone.

I have a lot of work to do in that apartment. I also have to scrub clean, and repaint the entire place. But the most daunting task isn't any of those things. The job that will take the most time and effort, is getting the stench of cat piss out of the place.

After