Tuesday, October 23, 2012


As with most early evenings, Mark and I are sitting around watching the evening news, this time in our bedroom. Everything is going along fine. The news ends and Brian Williams says, “We sure hope to see you right back here tomorrow evening. Good night.”, followed immediately by the intro to the next program. It blasts into our ears, "EXTRA! EXTRA!". Easily the most irritating program on television. Not because of it's content so much as for the fact that they scream at you for half an hour.
Suddenly Mark jumps up out of his chair.
"What time is it? Goddamn I hate that clock."
Mark is speaking of the clock on the bedroom wall. The clock that has had a dead battery in it for the last week, and is stopped at 6:45pm.
"I thought I had plenty of time. Why the hell don't you fix that clock?"
Of course it's my fault that Mark is going to be late meeting his friends for cocktails. So I start the search for a battery. None in my office where I keep all the spare batteries. None in the kitchen catchall drawer. No spare batteries in the house at all. So I go to my usual plan B. What gadget do we not use very much that has the same battery as that clock? There is Mark's "massager" in the drawer next to his side of the bed, but I'm not touching that thing. I check every game controller, every gadget Mark has in the kitchen, but they all have the wrong battery. Finally, after checking everything, I find a double A battery. The only problem is that the next time 'EXTRA!' comes screaming onto the television screen, Mark is going to reach for the spare remote on his side of the bed, and he won't be able to mute that bastard.


  1. Throw that spare remote to Chandler and have him destroy it. Then blame him for it not working. Oh and tell him you rescued the battery so Chandler wouldn't swallow it. Such a good deed.

  2. Chandler is such a good dog when it comes to chewing. He only chews his own toys, and Sasha's mouth is too small.

  3. I think you might have to go to Home Base and buy a bulk pack of batteries, my friend. I don't want Mark to get upset again.

  4. Um, we are learning WAY too much about Mark's habits....