Long Live the Queen

That's Scout on the radiator, looking out the window. We acquired her about twenty one months ago from Cairn Rescue USA. She's not really a Cairn Terrier. No, she's special, something that we were aware of when we adopted her. Special in that, umm.... special way. It seemed that she couldn't be house broken, also she chewed everything up including Chandler's cheeks and my fingers. The groomer was terrified of her. You see, special. Twenty five pounds of terror. Well, after all these months I have figured out just what it is that Scout needed. She needed to have her own Queendom. Scout needed a place to rule over, and subjects to serve her. That's why she's at the window in that photo. A bunny rabbit had dared to cross over into her realm. Unacceptable. So she called Chandler over and the two of them loudly told the rabbit to scat.

I am Scout's number one servant. I prepare her food twice a day, making sure just the right amount of warm water is added to her dry food. Not enough, or too much, and she stands there giving me the old stink eye. I am responsible for opening the doors to the outside where she will  pee and poop, and then I am responsible for picking that shit up and making it disappear. I have the job of getting down on my belly and reaching under chairs and bookcases to retrieve toys, bones, and half chewed socks. It is required that I play 'Stick your fingers in my mouth' with her for at least ten minutes every evening. She just loves the taste of fingers. In our house Queen Scout has her own bed. Not a dog bed, but a human bed. It is in her very own bedroom, once called Alan's office. Her bed has what was a very nice quilt on it. That quilt now has a few holes chewed in it and the edges all chewed up. You might say, she made it her own. Every night when I announce it is time to go to bed, Scout waddles off to her bedroom where she stays all night long.

I love that little monster, now thirty five pounds of loving terror. She follows me everywhere I go. I suppose she does that to make sure I'm readily available for her whims and needs. So Scout has this house in control and things are running smoothly for her. Now if only those goddamned bunny rabbits would show her some respect.