Say Hello To My Leedle Friend

Sometimes I get into calm and peaceful moments where I feel the weight of the world lift. I'll let my guard down completely in the privacy of my own living room, completely relaxed. That's when one of my neighbors will stroll by quietly with their dog. Very quiet, yet my dogs come running into the room, throw themselves up against the front window, and burst into loud barking. The fact that they can hear the soft padding footsteps of another dog through the windows is amazing. Anyway, Chandler usually lets loose with a couple of deep throated woofs and then quits. Scout, however, blasts away with one of the most irritating, loudest, most nerve jangling, non-stop barks you've ever heard. If a human could actually jump out of their skin, there would be a pile of it in my chair and I would be stuck to the ceiling. So I decided to do something about that. Since no amount of yelling, pleading, or threats got Scout to stop with all the barking, I bought one of those squirt bottles at Home Depot. I then filled it with water, and put it on the table next to my big fluffy chair. The first time Scout jumped up on the radiator and started barking at some poor schmo walking past our house, I let her have it. It worked. She stopped barking immediately and turned around to try and figure out where that came from. While she was looking around I let her have one more small squirt. Such a smart dog. She caught on quickly and realized that I had a bottle of acid that would rain down on her if she barked. I don't even have to put water in it anymore. All I do is pick it up and she freezes. Apparently she is part witch and does not want to melt.