The survival rate for Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma in 1988 for a thirty year old man was about forty percent. Twenty years after being diagnosed with that form of cancer, I am still alive and in relatively good health. Besides the doctors and nurses who saved my life, I have to thank my friends, Garet and Dennis who helped me through my chemotherapy. I have to thank my brothers and sisters, who all took a blood test to see if they were candidates for bone marrow transplanting, if I needed it. If they ever wonder why I love them all so much, that is one reason why. Most of all I have to thank my mother and father, who drove into Chicago every Tuesday so they could accompany me to the clinic where I got my chemo-therapy.
The first time my parents went with me to the clinic, I believe my mom drove us in her shiny new, Dodge Caravan. Whether it was my mom or dad doesn't matter because, whoever it was, I didn't like their driving. Not that it was bad, just that I was/am a very impatient driver and I also didn't approve of the route they took, so the next time I insisted that I drive. As I slid into the drivers seat of my mom's car, she moved to the bench seat directly behind the driver. I don't think my mom or dad had ever rode with me before, at least not through the streets of Chicago. As I sped up Halsted Street, and whipped around onto Ogden Avenue, I kept hearing little squeaks and gasps from the back seat. It was my mom, "Alan, can't you slow down a little?", she asked. "No mom, trust me, I know what I'm doing." I replied. My dad just laughed.
So it went for twelve weeks, every Tuesday, dad in the passenger seat, mom in the back seat making sounds like a kid on a roller coaster, and me driving like a bat out of hell. The drive back was always much more sedate, because I had just been pumped full of toxic chemicals and vomiting was a very real possibility. The funny thing about it, is that my mom was one of the people who taught me how to drive, and I drive exactly like she does. Just ask Mark. He makes the same squeaks and gasping noises sitting in the back of moms Dodge Caravan when she drives.
To be continued....
I love your writing, Alan!!! I can even hear Mom's squeaks and gasps as you described it... she still does that when anyone else drives but you should hear the story about Mom picking up Patti at the train station with my kids and Trish in the car... it's funniest when they all act it out! You are one of the "survivors" that gives hope to newly diagnosed cancer patients, you really are doing well, hypochondria aside. You have earned the right to be paranoid about every bodily change, just don't go overboard and announce a "false" pregnancy!!
ReplyDeleteP.S. it was our honor to be tested to be bone marrow donors. I remember that you announced the "lottery" winners and it was only 3 out of ten. FYI- we are all still in the bone marrow database as I found out when I went to be tested for a friend.
ReplyDeleteOne thing about cancer, it really is a teacher. You learn about the complexity of the human body, the strengths & weaknesses in your own character, & who your real friends are. The world as you knew it gets turned upside down & mortality slaps you in the face. Some friends & family members are uncaring, even cruel about this illness. Other people, even total strangers, are amazingly kind. I'm a 5-yr. breast cancer survivor & sometimes I have to stop & remember the lessons learned. One thing I know for sure, your sister Peggy is the best friend anyone could ever wish for. Stay healthy, Alan; you're an inspiration! Besides Peggy has her hands full right now.
ReplyDeleteAlan: I agree with your family. Your inspirational and I love your writing too. Perhaps your being a Taxi Driver had an influence on your driving skills!! I know how Chicago Taxi Drivers drive. Was your mother a cab driver too?
ReplyDeleteYes, my mother was a 'taxi' driver of sorts. Eleven children were her customers.
ReplyDeleteThe sad news is that not everyone survives. As I write this my cousin Lauren is in hospice care for cancer.
ReplyDeletePeggy told me about Lauren. The saddest part is that she's a dear young woman & a mom with three little kids. Life is good but it's not fair.
ReplyDeleteI pray that Lauren is able to overcome her cancer. If not, I hope that she is as comfortable as possible and has the support of friends and family as you did Alan.
ReplyDeletepeggy said... P.S. it was our honor to be tested to be bone marrow donors. I remember that you announced the "lottery" winners and it was only 3 out of ten. FYI- we are all still in the bone marrow database as I found out when I went to be tested for a friend.
ReplyDeleteAlan replies....
Actually what I remember is that only Sue matched me. But then again my memory is 'soft'.
Yes it is "soft", I know that MaryBeth matched and perhaps one brother, and Sue. Your odds were better than you remember!
ReplyDelete