Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Pants

The year I was born, men wore 'slacks'. That is, loosely fitting pressed pants with a cuff at the bottom, firmly cinched with a belt well above the navel and just below the man boobs. During the ensuing years pant waists slowly moved down the torso and the material slowly became less loosely fitted, until we reached the ultimate limit of tight fitting pants in the era of 'Milli Vanilli'.

In what seems to be a direct revolt against the Milli Vanilli style, boys and young men started wearing pants more and more loosely. What they didn't do, was stop the slow movement of the belt line downward. In fact over the years pant waists have moved at least a foot or more down men's bodies. Often I see young men waddling down the street with their pants riding just above public indecency in the front, and below their ass cheeks in the back. These boys/men are referred to in slang terms as saggers. Most of them are smart enough to wear fashionable boxer shorts, but occasionally I see a kid who doesn't get it, wearing his skid marked tighty whiteys. That of course is a teenager fashion faux pas.

The funniest and scariest part of this fashion trend are the politicians who are trying to make it illegal to wear pants in that manner. The fact is that those politicians probably are wearing their belts just as low in front, so as to clear their belly fat. The laws they want to pass fail to include women of every age who expose so much of their chest that the only thing left to the imagination is the size of the nipple.

So as I age, I find myself apparently following the fashion trend, because I keep buying pants that are looser and looser around the waist. I just hope I don't end up like one of those old guys on Funniest Home Videos, dancing at a wedding with my pants around my ankles.

8 comments:

  1. I wrote my story before 'Dr. Phil' (who I hate) did his show yesterday on exactly this topic. I think my story is much better than the 'Dr. Phil' show.

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  2. nano really is oldJanuary 29, 2008 at 2:29 PM

    I didn't see Dr. Phil either, but I suppose somewhere in the world of the fashion-challenged nothing says sexy like a big hairy butt crack. What I'd like to know is what's with not wearing a coat or jacket in winter (IL at -0*)? The person I have in mind is 28 yrs. old, hardly a teenager. He's not alone; blue goosebumps seems to be the trend. I guess nothing says sexy like "I have no brains."

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  3. You are indeed correct on that Nano.

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  4. I don't know why the boys/men who wear their pants so low bother wearing pants at all. They might as well just wear the boxers.

    I'm glad to see hip huggers are back. At least on the right male torso.

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  5. I'm in my 50's and bought my first hip huggers. What do you think?

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  6. It must be the element of suspense (or suspension/lack of) like waiting for the punchline in a joke. Waiting for the waistband to hit the pavement certainly gets the onlooker's attention and THAT is what these guys want:"Look at me!" At our age it's "don't look at me."

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  7. Anonymous, are you sure those hip huggers are hugging your hips?

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  8. They make my butt look smaller.

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