Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Mr. Magoo

Yes, I've done it again. This time there was no cursing or screaming in pain. I guess I have gotten used to it and am no longer surprised. Like a slow motion movie, I lurched forward and felt myself flying through the air towards the inevitable collision with mother earth. When it came, I just lay there like a beached whale, pain shooting through my body, and the sound of good Samaritans rushing, once again, to my aid. I continued to lay there while I assessed my injuries and determined that nothing was broken, just a little blood, and a lot of embarrassment. I had stepped off of the stairs at ’Bill’s Filling Station’, thinking I was walking down the handicapped ramp. Some of this was due to vodka and some was due to my blindness, but seeing as I have done the same thing totally sober, I tend to put more of the blame on blindness. I know it is just a matter of time before I break a bone or have a serious injury, but for now I think my body is still not that brittle.

Should I start walking around with a white cane with the red tip, and how would that look at bowling? Could I get an additional handicap on my score? My biggest problem is that I don't admit to myself how bad my vision is and still go through life like nothing is wrong, walking into people at the store, knocking over drinks, and tripping over my dog Molly. If you all think I am mean to Mark, what about the fact that he constantly sneaks up to me on my blind side and scares the hell out of me?

Before I was diagnosed with glaucoma and informed that I had lost fifty percent of my vision, I just thought that I had a brain tumor. I have stopped driving now, but in the past few years I have run over a bicyclist with my car, ran into the rear of a pickup truck, and drove into the side of a woman’s car while trying to park. At least when I was driving I never hurt myself, just other people.


  1. Gee, I'm glad I got into the Adult Health & Daily Living Care Industry. With the oncoming recession, I'm sure to keep my job. Ans as long as the baby boomers keep aging and need assistance, I'm worth my weight in Gold. That's a thousand dollars an ounce x's 160 lbs. Thank you very much.

    I believe that equals $2,560,000.00

    Med time people. Who needs a sponge bath.

  2. OUCH!!! That looks painful, Alan. Sometimes it hurts worse the next day---hope you're OK. On a meaner note, that'll teach ya for making fun of "Old" Peggy. But I really am not that mean, so I'm wishing you a fast & happy healing!

  3. Yes Nano, it was definitely more painful the next day and was so painful last night that I couldn't sleep.

  4. Apply for a handicapped sticker, you'll need one.

  5. I don't think they give blind people handicapped parking stickers.

  6. I was with Alan when this happened. Yes, he had had a few drinks... But,
    I will go along with the blind thing.

    What I have learned is that the more drunk you are the less chance you get seriously hurt. Your reflexes are slower (or gone completely) and you just roll with it. If you were sober you would have tried to catch yourself and could have done worse damage. Good thing you had been drinking.

  7. You are not as think as you drunk you are.

  8. In Mark's defense, I don't think I could help myself either, I'd be sneeking up in your blind spot too. Hehehe.