Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Down on the Farm

When you live in the Midwest, America's breadbasket, you feel more in tune with the seasons. The cycle of nature is repeated year after year, as new growth springs forth from the earth, matures during the summer months, is harvested in the autumn, and finally dies or goes into dormancy through the long hard winter.

Here in South Florida, the seasons are not quite that noticeable. For instance right now, in April, the mahogany tree is loosing it's leaves and our back yard looks like autumn in Chicago. Then again it is also spring, because the mahogany tree sprouts it's new leaves even as the old ones drop off the branches. If I had known this I would have never planted the damn thing.

Up north, the farmers are out plowing and planting the fields in preparation for another growing season. It is kind of like that here at our house. Mark is out in the yard busily planting his garden or as I like to call it, "Mark's Auschwitz for plants". Every year Mark plants a nice container garden, mostly tomatoes, flowers, herbs, and sometimes peppers. Even though we get some tomatoes out of it, usually within a month the plants are dead. The flowers are dried up, and the tomatoes are drooping and out of control. I swear to god that when we walk through the garden department at Home Depot, the plants cringe. If they had legs, they would run at the sight of Mark shopping for his seasons victims.

It's not that growing plants is so hard here, it never freezes, and it normally rains a lot. Marks problem is the times when the rain doesn't come. During dry periods the plants need to be watered, sometimes twice daily. Unfortunately it often slips his mind, what with shopping and all. On those occasions that I am in the back yard and notice the poor things wilting in the tropical heat, I do pull out the hose and give them a squirt.

Yes, it is the constant cycle of life. Mark buys the plants, Mark plants the plants, Mark forgets to water the plants, and Alan throws out the dead carcasses.


  1. Yep, that's Mar; I witnessed it for 13 years. I would care for the plants when you would travel. I swear I heard the plants say thank you when I would come out into the yard and go for the hose. Maybe you should get some of those glass watering bulbs they advertise on TV, but then again, who would fill them up?

  2. If you save your receipts from Home Depot or Lowes, I believe they will replace your plants for free if they die within a year. You'll need to bring the dead ones back though instead of throwing them out.

  3. Returning the plants at Home Depot is for the ones that you actually cared for, and they still died. Not the ones you just want to "rent" until you kill them.

    You are two individuals that do not work. You have tons of time on your hands. Water the damn plants. Gee. How hard can it be?

  4. I don't think it's so much the time factor....I think they just lose interest in the plants. Go for plastic ones then!!!

  5. Mark would never go for plastic plants. Silk maybe, but not plastic.

  6. Doesn't it just irk you when someon has to always have the last word or comment in every one of Alan's blog commentary?