Thursday, April 3, 2008

I Eat'em by the Sack Full

So many things that are enjoyable, are just so damn bad for you. Right now I am eating some jelly beans from Easter, which I told Mark NOT to bring into the house. These of course, are not on my diet, and I know they are bad for me, yet I continue to pound them down because they are the 'gourmet' jelly beans and I love them.

It's not just that I do and eat things that are bad for me, I crave them. Take for instance smoking. Twenty four years after quitting, I still crave sitting back and smoking a cigarette while enjoying another bad thing, a cocktail. Maybe instead of looking for a cure for lung cancer, they should try inventing a safe cigarette, and safe liquor.

One craving that I just can't fulfill, and it's probably just as well, is White Castle. Often I crave those little square sliders, yet here in Florida you just can't get them. Sure they have the frozen ones at the supermarket, but it just isn't the same. When you put them in the microwave, they come out weird, with the bread all chewy, and none of that good grease that comes right off the grill. They also have an imitator here in Florida, called Krystal. Krystal sucks. Just because your burger is square and small, doesn't make it a White Castle.

Now it is my opinion that a White Castle burger can't be all that bad for you. It seems to have some medicinal value. I know, because I used to use it as an antidote for another bad thing. A hangover. When I lived in Chicago, if I woke up with a hangover, I'd stop at the White Castle for breakfast on my way to work. Three cheeseburgers at eight in the morning, and I was feeling fine. Jelly beans won't do that for you.



  2. I go to Chicago to:

    1. Visit my friends and family.
    2. Eat pizza
    3. Eat White Castle.

    Not necessarily in that order.

  3. If you ever saw 'Harold and Kumar go to White Castle', one of the funniest movies ever, you would know who those two guys are. Harold and Kumar.

  4. Harold and Kumar are on TV tonight (TBS I think). That movie was great. I did my share of those wonderful little buggers after a night of bar hopping.

    My craving is usually a pint of Fudge Chocolate Brownie Ben and Jerry's.

  5. I remember a long time ago going to WC with Harry? We had been drinking all night. I think we took a cab there. We then joined the weird assortment of trashy people in line at 5 am on a Sat morning. You know the ones, the punkers with red mohawks, homeless beggars in tattered clothes asking for change, drag queens with attitude, and those making fun of everyone. After eating outside and finshing my milkshake, I threw everything up. Ah, those were the days........

  6. Garet, is that what made you a vegan?

  7. Russel, TBS will never show H&K uncut. Doogie Howser snorting coke off whores asses just blew me away. Not that there is anything wrong with whores. I love 'em

  8. I'm sure all the people at White Castle thought Garet and Harry were the weird people. And it wasn't the White Castle that made you loose it, it was the HUGE number of drinks you consumed throughout the night.
    I remember when Harry and I would go to Gladys's soul food restaurant at 4:00 AM. It was at 44th and Indiana, one of Chicago's better areas. We never had a problem, except with my old Chevy called Bella.
    Oh, the good old days...I'm amazed we're all still alive and kicking.

  9. "Not that there is anything wrong with whores. I love 'em"

    wow. if only every girl was lucky enough to read these words from her uncle. amazing.

    and I do agree about the Doogie Howser scene. amazing. That movie was funny.

    However, my hangover food is a vegetarian burrito. you can't go wrong. I haven't had a slider in decades...even thinking about them makes me want to yarf.

  10. Laura, just so we understand. I don't like whores in 'that' way. They're just more fun to be around than prudes.

  11. Oh, and I thought you meant male whores......

  12. Actually, Doogie Howser aka Neil Patrick Harris, would have probably liked to use male whores in that movie. He is gay you know.