Mark is a saboteur. No matter how many times I tell him what I can and can't eat, I still get steak and potatoes, fried chicken, or some other high cholesterol, high fat food on my dinner plate. Of course, because Mark is such a good cook, I can't resist it. It's like putting crack in front of a crack head, I devour his delicious dinners only to feel remorse later as I look at my belly in the mirror.
So how is my diet going? Today I stepped on the scale and it literally cracked in half. This is an embarrassing development, and I will have to try harder to lose a few pounds before my next doctors appointment. I wasn't able to actually weigh myself, but breaking the scale leads me to believe that I haven't lost any weight, and possibly could have gained a few pounds. The only other way to rationalize breaking the scale is to point out that it was made in China and we all know that the Chinese are a small and lightweight people. But then again, why would they build a scale that goes up to 330 pounds if they didn't want a fat American to actually get on it, and try to reach that number?
I will be restarting my diet first thing tomorrow. Why tomorrow? Because on tonight's menu, Mark has prepared stone crab claws with a dipping sauce, and a pasta with bacon in a goat cheese sauce. Oh yes, he has included one thing that is on my diet, green beans..........with bacon bits.......sautéed in olive oil.
Mark is a saboteur. No matter how many times I tell him what I can and can't eat, I still get steak and potatoes, fried chicken, or some other high cholesterol, high fat food on my dinner plate. Of course, because Mark is such a good cook, I can't resist it. It's like putting crack in front of a crack head, I devour his delicious dinners only to feel remorse later as I look at my belly in the mirror. 
OMG!!! We have the "pregnant man" in our family!!! Imagine the $$$$ coming in as we cash in on the phenomenom. Alan, you should have warned us that your maternal side was taking over...boy or girl??? When are you due? We'd like to throw you a baby shower soon, as it looks like you are about to "pop" it out any minute!!!
ReplyDeleteI have two words of advise: PORTION CONTROL.
ReplyDeleteIf you adhere to what 1 serving is on the food packaging and have 3 meals per day with fresh fruit or veggie as a snack and balance your protein / carb intake to at least 50/50 (eating more protein than carbs)and excercise daily, you will lose weight. Just don't give up. (except the jelly beans)
I've started measuring my morning cereal, soymilk, decaf and creamer with measuring spoons and cups.
I use to just pour in the non-dairy creamer / whitener in my decaf coffee thinking, "oh 1 teaspoon is 20 calories." I discovered I was actually using 5 teaspoons or more which is 100+ calories!
1 serving my seem like a child's portion but the alternative is to have your stomach stapled.
If you get hungry, drink water and don't focus on eating so much. You need to take control of your own eating instead of Mark doing all the cooking for you.
Get involved in the preparation of your own food from the grocery shopping to the cooking to the portion control.
PORTION CONTROL, PORTION CONTROL, PORTION CONTROL!
OH AND ALL THIS REMINDS ME....HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE!!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Garet. Especially about taking control of your own meals.
ReplyDeleteI think Mark cooks what he does because it's what he wants to eat. I hate to say it, but I think that's a bit selfish. If he truly cared about your wellbeing he would try to help instead of sabotage you.
Regardless, you must have your own willpower. It has taken a lot of willpower for me to stop drinking. Especially when I am out with a bunch of fishes.
Will Power, wasn't that the name of a character on Lost In Space?
ReplyDeleteYou are thinking of Billy Mumy who played Will Robinson in that Lost in Space 1960's TV Show.
ReplyDeleteYou know my theory, he's doing it on purpose to keep you off the market.
ReplyDeleteI agree, you need to take over of your own meal planning, shopping and prep, he's not going to do it for you.
Don't worry about the scale, you'll know when it''s working by your clothes. I know I have to get back on my diet because I have to plan to tie my shoes. I don't want to have to use a sheet for anything like our old friend BOB.
Good luck.