God Hates Fangs

From out of the bedroom I heard the chilling screams. The sound of cats having yet another disagreement, followed by the even more blood curdling cries of Mark screaming like a twelve year old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert. By the time I got there, the damage was done and Mark was in full meltdown. Carlotta had bitten Fat Kitty on the ass again. While Fat Kitty licked her wounds on the bed, Carlotta lay in wait under the bed, looking for another chance at attacking her hated rival. Mark just continued screaming.

The next day I once again had to spend money at the veterinarians to patch Fat Kitty up, and start her on antibiotics. I noted to the doctor that it was getting expensive to keep bringing Fat Kitty in every few months, and besides Fat Kitty was starting to get neurotic. That was when she told me about trimming Carlotta's fangs. I had never heard of such a thing, but the doctor assured me it was done all the time and had no harmful effects on the cat.

I felt bad about bringing Carlotta in the next day to have her fangs clipped off. I had her de-clawed when she was a kitten, and have always felt bad about it. So now, in her fifteenth year, to remove her fangs just didn't seem right, but I had to think about Fat Kitty. I also had to consider Carlotta's happiness, without her fangs I could let her have a more free range of the house instead of locking her up in one room.

I have to tell you, watching the vet remove Carlotta's fangs was like a dentist's drill hitting a nerve. 'Crunch' went the first one. The clipped fang shot across the room (we had glasses on) almost hitting Mark in the back of the head as he ran screaming from the room. She clipped off the second one with another crunch and a ping, as it flew past and hit the stainless steel cabinet behind me. Two more times for the bottom fangs and she was done. Carlotta didn't wince once or even fight the doctor. It was as if she was getting her toenails clipped. I, on the other hand was a wreck. I expected the doctor to hand over a bloody, angry, cat back to me, but she was calm and happy.

Carlotta is fine, she cannot hurt Fat Kitty any more. She is eating normally, and is happy. I am now seriously thinking of asking the doctor to do one more de-fanging for me, but I don't know if she would do a human or even if I could get Mark to sit still while she did it.