Auntie Em

I knew when I saw her swaying back and forth, wearing what looked like a Stevie Nicks hand me down, that she would be a problem. I was in a hurry to get some cash, and the easiest ATM for that was at the super market. The only problem is that sometimes you have to wait in line to access it. This time I had to wait for 'Stevie Nicks' to figure out just how these modern contraptions work. I stood behind her, watching her ample ass move side to side, and I figured that she was waiting for the cash to come flipping out of the machine, but no cash was dispensed. Instead, after what seemed like minutes, she suddenly stuck her card in the thing, and then proceeded to poke at the buttons. Beep, beep, beep........    beep....  beep, beep. More swaying, more staring at the machine. Finally, after another minute, she turned and sashayed away. The asshole never got any cash. I seriously think she was just screwing with me.

Years ago we had to go to the bank to get cash. You'd stand in a long snaking line, slowly inching along until you were next. When it was finally your turn, you would walk up to the teller with a withdrawal slip, and she would give you cash. If you didn't have enough money in your account, you didn't get any cash. The whole process took at least fifteen minutes, longer if you got caught behind the guy depositing piles of coins he had saved up all year. I suppose I shouldn't get all pissed off at people who don't know how to use an ATM in under one minute. It's still better than the old way.

I still do go to the bank and stand in line once in a while. Not to get any money out of my account. No, I go there with my bucket of coins for deposit. Best part about it, nobody in front of me in line anymore, and nobody behind me making faces. They're all out at the ATM.