Free Wheelin'

Yesterday Mark had the audacity to accuse me of being embarrassing. This from the man who created a huge, smelly, stink on an airplane because he couldn't get his chicken meal. He says I embarrass him because of the stupid things I tend to blurt out. I do, do that, but not with evil intent. When Mark is embarrassing it usually is with evil in his heart. He cursed that flight attendant, and accused her of hoarding the chicken.

Every morning Chandler, Sasha, and I partake in the ritual of the neighborhood walk. It's quite the social event, as numerous other folk are out walking their dogs. One of our fellow walkers is the guy on the corner who has a chocolate Lab, and a golden retriever. The poor golden retriever is quite old and slow. She's so slow that I am usually able to walk Chandler around the block, go back home, get Sasha for her walk, and still over take the guy with the golden retriever a second time. Yesterday I had stopped to have a conversation with a third dog walker, when I saw Jameson the retriever slowly moving down the street with her owner almost pulling her along. "Hey!", I shouted, "Why don't you put her on wheels! You'll get around faster!"

I had made what I thought was a clever joke about putting the dog in a wheel chair. Hilarious, until I looked back down at the other guy I was talking to, sitting there in his wheel chair. Yes, I was embarrassed. Yes, I felt like an asshole. No, I didn't apologize. Instead I returned to the little conversation we were having about the porn house that's across the street from his house. I then said "See you later.", and walked off.

That's how I deal with my faux pas'. I ignore them and hope nobody else notices that I said something truly asinine. What I don't need is Mark telling me that I embarrass him. Because if embarrassing your partner were an Olympic event, Mark would get the gold, and then be disqualified for doing it on steroids.