The Old Fags At Home

My mom, god love her, sent me a very sweet note yesterday. It read, "Thought this article would interest you. When you are old and alone you might like something like this." The article was about an old peoples home for the 'gays'. Mark's only comment about that was, "Alone? What the hell happened to me?"
I didn't even want to go into that, as the possibilities are endless.

Obviously my mom doesn't know me all that well. If she did she'd know that the last thing I want to happen is be banished to a place where I'd have to look at a bunch of wrinkled old farts like me. I don't mind old people, but I would like to be reminded once in a while what a young person looks like. And by young, I mean under fifty.

No, I don't plan on living in any kind of old peoples home. What I plan on, is that one of my twenty or so nephews and nieces will take me in. In fact, there are so many of them they could rotate me. Every two weeks they could pass me off to the next one so that they could air out the house. I will be an old fart, and at the rate I pass gas now, by the time I'm really old I should smell pretty bad. Anyway, the way I will get them to agree to doing this is by something I call the roulette will. I'll just put it in my will that whoever has me in their house at the time I kick the bucket, gets everything, and just as long as they don't realize I'm broke, it should work.

Old Alan