Really, we have horrible critters, hurricanes, scorching hot and humid seven month summers, and to top all that off a tea party governor, senator, and congressman. I hate Florida!
This past week I had a plumber in to rebuild the shower I had rebuilt three years ago by a shady Florida 'contractor'. While he was here I had him look at Mark's shower, you know, the one where Sasha pees. The thing seemed to be leaking, and I wanted an estimate for rebuilding that one too. He looked it over, shined a flashlight into the access hole behind the shower, and informed me of the fact that "You have tiny frogs in the wall." Frogs? Fucking frogs in the wall?
"Don't you hear them at night croaking?" he asked.
No, no I don't. I have a fan that I let run all night to mask the noises of the rats in the attic, the snakes slithering around the floor, and the lizards skittering up the wall. No, I don't hear the croaking.
Oh my god get out of that hell whole - tea party governor, senator and congressman! That's enough to make anyone not be able to sleep!! I'd rather have the tiny frogs, lizards and rats.
ReplyDeleteGo to rural central Florida. It's cooler. There is less congestion. Homes are cheaper. Towns are smaller. Most people actually speak English and are friendly. You are a few hours from the border of Georgia; not 6-8 hours. You would be close to Disney World, Universal Studios, Tampa, orlando, Daytona, Ocala, and lots of trees and open meadows rather than concrete. Just sayin....
ReplyDeleteCentral Florida? Crazyland central is what that is. That is the hotbed of tea party activity. I never wanted to live in the 'real' south, which is what anything north of Lake Okeechobee is. Narrow minded, bigoted, racist, church goin' fools. That Southern hospitality is just a facade to hide the dark side of the South.
ReplyDeleteOh my god I would have absolutely freaked out! I don't go in our basement because of salamanders, peepers and our permanent resident toad, Toady. We've got other critters too, the usual mice and squirrels, but holy hell, if I found that snail and those frogs eeeekkkkk!
ReplyDeleteDid you tell Mark about the frogs? Did you film his reaction?
Oh man. And I thought England had big snails. (You should see the slugs over here. Honestly!) It's really hard to live in tropical climates. I hate bugs -- actually don't mind the lizards too much, tho.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, my friend. You've got your hands full I can see that.
Since finding your blog, I often wondered (to myself) why and how could you possibly live there. A number of years ago, a friend moved to Florida...she lasted about 11 months and threw in the towel. I don't envy you at all. And that snail? Oh, gross. I'd be out buying a shotgun! Lol!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know how good you have it until you move back up North. We have Freezing temperatures, ice storms, blizzards, and in the summer we have tornadoes, scorching summer heatwaves, and crowded polluted cities.
ReplyDeleteOur freezing temperatures keep the wild life down, blizzards give us a great excuse to take a day off from work, and then we can long for the scorching summer heat. You can choose to live in a crowded city....or out in the country, whichever you like! Hey Anonymous...how 'bout trading homes with Alan??!!
ReplyDeleteI would in a heart beat. But it wouldn't be an even trade. I would though, tear the house down and sell it as an empty prime building lot...or just rent it out and be a slum lord.
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